#(editing beautiful scenes is just so pleasant)

[the-words-we-sung]

How can I trust anyone?

[daisys-reality]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆

What's coming next in love matters?

This was a requested reading by one of my followers, I hope you enjoy it. The next pac reading will be reality shifting related again, I promise! If you like to read more pac readings from me, feel free to check out my masterlist! If you want to share your experiences and/or give me feedback and/or share pac ideas, I would be very happy if you send me an ask over tumblr !!! (Also, fyi I don't own any of these beautiful pics, I just edited them!)

pick a picture!

picture one

Hello pile one, you will experience a turning point in your love life. The change may have already started subtly and I heard that they may be apparent in rather random acts but remember all fates are part of an interconnected web of repercussion! You’re asked to embrace the change and to be open to new experiences. It’s a time of death and rebirth so to say. You might experience an unexpected windfall. There is something happening right now you’re not fully aware of … like it’s happening behind the scenes. It’s the end of a life cycle. I see fortune coming in for you guys!!

A big change is already happening and a storm might occur soon as well - some problems or inconveniences may arise, it may cloud your view a bit but know that it is a sign of change and of growth! You’re stepping into a new life cycle and growing into your new form. For example, clashes or arguments may happen because of the new energy you’ll embody with people that are used to your old energy. That’s a natural process for both parties to get used to and to accept the transformation that is happening. You're clearing out the gloom and dust of your old life time and making space for the new you. Of course it’s important to work things through with the end goal of reconciliation in mind, be constructive in the way you’re communicating with the people around you. Just know that the rainfall after a storm or after the end of a war can be pretty pleasant! I see you afterwards feeling like lots of burdens have been taken from you.

Regarding the new energy you’ll embody: I see you full of positive and wild energy with an almost childlike optimism - like you could rule the world and nothing can stop you. You’re happy, I see you smiling brightly. You rebel against your past in a very carefree manner, leaving all the past worries behind. Again, you might make a few enemies on your way but just as many friends who can help you on your journey! If you’ve been someone that avoided conflict or just had people pleasing tendencies - you will grow out of this! And it’s for the best because if you want to embody your truest and most authentic form, there will always be people that don’t like it - mostly because they’re jealous! You’ll be more playful, have peak charisma and be full of enthusiasm especially towards love matters. 

Your love life might have been pretty dry for a long time… maybe even non-existent lol. But you’ve worked on yourself and focused on other important matters and now you will experience the rewards for it!! 

This will be a time of discovery as well. You will experience different sides of yourself. I don’t necessarily see a super duper long commitment coming in right now, I think you will just experiment a bit - getting to know yourself more like in regards to love and sexual matters (personal preferences and such). If you felt like you're behind on experience in regards to such matters in comparison to your peers, there is no reason to feel bad or ashamed because there is no general ‘right’ time to experience those things, there is only a right time for you in accordance to your personal journey, okay? And the time is coming for you, I can assure you. Just focus on yourself and treat yourself with kindness and respect and stay open towards all the new things that will come into your life. (But don’t forget to treat others with respect as well during your ‘rebellious’ journey.)

You will be shining, attracting lots of different suitors, trying out new things… Funnily enough during your reading I heard ‘casanova’ lmao - so you will turn a bit into casanova (regardless of your gender). And that’s perfectly fine! Speaking of gender, I think you might also experiment a bit with your sexuality, having experiences with the same gender and stuff like that. (This is a possibility - of course not for everyone of you but for some I can see it happening.)

Some quotes I got from my oracle for you:    ‘Be the flame, not the moth.’;   ‘Always be a free agent - promise fidelity to all.’;   ‘It’s not destiny, it’s opportunity.’ 

An angel number that could hold a message for you:   33

I wish you good luck and lot’s of fun my dear pile one😌✨

picture two

Hello my dear pile two, if you were hoping that I will tell you about the love of your life coming soon, I’ll have to disappoint you.  Well, 'soon' is a very vague word but you know what I mean. In the upcoming weeks or months, I see you having to gather strength - your own strength - as well as courage. I feel like in the past you often let yourself get used by the people around you, not just by your lovers, I also feel like by your friends and family as well. You undermined yourself and didn’t treat yourself with the respect you deserve especially in regards to relationships (in all forms) and love matters. And it’s coming to bite your a*s…. just kidding lmao. Nothing bad will happen to you but you can’t avoid it any longer, you need to step out of your comfort zone! - And I see you doing so! So, this is good. To be honest, at first it might feel a bit unpleasant and weird but it’s a process and it takes time. 

You know, I will just straightforward tell where you’re heading towards. I got the imagery/metaphor of a strong and assertive warrior who uses his intelligence. Someone who is unafraid of leaping into a battle and employing unconventional techniques to win. Someone who is fierce and rebels but ultimately stays loyal towards themselves. A champion.

I guess you could say you’ll transform into a badass queen or femme fatale but I feel like queen fits more because you’re taking your power back, sitting up straight and putting your crown back on your head (- regardless of your gender, adapt it as you see fit please). Your love life itself will rather be ‘passive’ because you have to focus on yourself and be more pickier. You will turn down anyone who is not on your level. You need to treat yourself with respect and especially others have to treat you with the respect you deserve. No more falling for players!! You’re a queen and you only accept people who are on the level of a king. It doesn’t have to be ‘the one’ right away but even a short term lover should fill all the criteria and if they don’t - bye bye! 

I know you are strong. But you have to act on this inner strength. Be careful with becoming rude or too ‘arrogant’ because this sometimes happens if we suffer some kind of inferiority complex. You need to step up your game but in a healthy way. I’m not sure if you will experience some kind of bullying or if you’re the one who bullies but there is some message of ‘bullying’. So, be careful with that…I feel like it’s more about you being the one who does so but It could also be both ways… mhm... Anyways, you’re transforming into this ‘queen’ where you’re embodying strength and maybe even power and there will be people in your environment that are not happy about it, more so envious or jealous. So, either way there is potential for conflict. Don’t trust everyone you interact with too quickly! And don’t share too much from your personal life with others! Some people won’t have your best interest in mind. There is even a possibility of someone sabotaging relationships or partnerships; again, this could go both ways - you doing it or others trying to do it on you. 

In your love life you will become someone who can defend themselves and who can fight back if necessary. ‘Don’t mess with me’- vibes. You won’t allow other people to play you anymore. Your inner strength will sky-rocket. You will build trust in yourself and face your ‘inner wild sides’ which you might have kept hidden for a long time. You will focus on your instincts… your raw, maybe even sexual instincts. Because you need to learn how to deal with them correctly and use them efficiently and not just to repress them. They will give you so much more energy and strength - strength you didn’t even know you had! You will be more independent and more able to trust and rely on yourself. You learn how to handle yourself in the correct way and this is great, especially for your future love life because if you don’t know how to handle yourself correctly how should your partner learn how to treat you correctly! With this growth period you will do the first step and show everyone the right way to treat you. On a side note, I feel called out to use another expression than ‘queen/king’ as well... This might be specific confirmation for some. So, in other words, in the upcoming time your love life might be more passive for now but you will focus on yourself and become the ‘trophy wife/husband material’ that you desire to be. I know some people think badly about these expressions but I would say that in our modern times, instead of just having a pretty appearance and being seen as just a nice 'accessory ' I would describe them as people who are physically pretty and very charming AND who have manners, skills and intelligence and know how to use them for their benefit and who are powerful, abundant and successful in public/business but also in their private life and have everything under control or at least appear like they have everything under control. Like the whole package yk. Maybe you guys will physically glow up or upgrade your wardrobe with high quality clothes and accessories. Either way, you will come out of this period shining brightly!

Some quotes I got from my oracle for you:    ‘Beauty is power - so use it rather than lose it.’;     ‘Age is just a number - irrelevant, unless it’s a vintage wine.’;    ‘Everyone is a potential character for a novel.’ 

An angel number that could have a message for you:   94 

I wish you good luck, I’m sending blessings out to you my dear pile two💖

picture three

Hello pile three! I can already tell you that happy times are coming! The first card that I got for you was the happily-ever-after ending card! It’s like you’re reaching a victorious conclusion after a difficult journey. You finally get a positive outcome - the most desired one even ... like a wish fulfillment! You will also get recognition for something which will feel like a triumph for you. You might also attend some parties or events celebrating something. I see you having lots of fun, enjoying yourself … I even want to add ‘for the first time in your life’!  I also see pleasurable encounters and intimacy with others.. maybe while dancing with someone? Or while going a little further? lol… Anyways, I see you getting out of your shell more. If you’ve been someone who often shut people out of their life or rejected any potential suitors preferring to be on your own because you found all those love related things ‘cringey’ (I feel mainly because you had issues with intimacy), this will be a bit different in the upcoming time! You've been warned…just kidding. There is nothing to fear because I can see you truly having fun.

In addition, I also see that many opportunities will arise/many doors will open for you! Many interesting potential suitors? Soulmates even? To be honest it doesn’t have to be limited to your love life but there will definitely be a few love related opportunities for you! Again, I have cards hinting at a great wish getting fulfilled and that you have potential for success in these times. You will also discover and develop new talents/skills which might be more important than any material treasure or rather more essential to your life. It is being said that you have the key within yourself to solve any kind of problem or in other words: You yourself are the key. 

But you’re being advised to also try to give others the key to your heart! In the upcoming days and weeks, you won’t  hide or isolate yourself anymore, you will let other people into your world! And that is good. It’s time to mingle with people. You will be more open to new things, towards other people and in your relationships with others but you should try not to be ‘too’ trusting. Ok that might sound contradicting or even funny to you because I feel like you are not the type to easily trust others and that is totally fine, you have your reasons. You’re not asked to easily give out your trust to others but you should stop pushing people away and not even giving other people the opportunity or chance to gain your trust!

The advice here is just to be careful with ambiguousness in other people’s behavior and words and take notice of any contradictions and inconsistencies between them. Through that you will discover other people’s hidden motives. Always ask yourself: cui bono - who does benefit from it? You will develop a keen eye for this in the upcoming days and weeks. Of course sometimes disappointing things happen but they are a part of love just like the intimate moments of affections that make us happy. Everyone experiences these bad moments but that shouldn’t be the reason to exclude ‘love’ from one’s life completely. 

I feel like you might not like to hear this (or hated hearing this while growing up) but you should definitely go out there more! Don’t hide yourself from the world or from the people - especially now! You should also enjoy your life, experience all those beautiful things because you deserve to have moments where you feel your heart beating, where you’re full of excitement, where you’re at peace with yourself and in the presence of someone else. And you should treasure those moments. So, be open towards love matters (potential suitors, love offers and opportunities) but don’t let yourself be fooled by any kind of deception, you’re smarter than that. If you have any plans like getting into a relationship or wooing someone specific, be slick …maybe even a little cunning while making plans and taking action! There is a chance of meeting a soulmate or just like minded people whose company you’ll enjoy greatly! If you’ll face any opponents, beat them at their own game with the same ‘weapons’! I can assure you, you are in control and luck is on your side! Anything you try to do now, will probably be a success. This is your time now. :) 

Some quotes I got from my oracle for you:    ‘Treasure those seconds when you felt your heart beating.’;     ‘Don’t allow any tourists into your own private Paris.’;    ‘To love someone and mean it is a rare and valuable thing.’ 

An angel number that could have a message for you:   102    ( or 10 and 2 separately )

Great times are ahead for you, I’m sending my blessings out to you pile three. 🔥

[sunshineneedsaplacetokeephernsfw]

Day 21 | Dry humping - Victor

Kinktober masterlist

Gender-neutral reader (genitals not specified)

Word count: 1k

18+, slight embarrassment, dry humping, minimal editing

The mind can be a bit silly. It wanders and dreams up memories that never happened. Play a scene before your very eyes that isn't even happening, if you allow it to wander.

How his skin felt, how his hair would smell if you tucked your face into it. How the fabric would feel in your hands as you took it of-

You heard your name.

The sound snapped you out of it. Beautiful diamond-like eyes stared at you with concern from the other side of the desk.

You forced a smile. 

“Sorry, Victor. My mind must've wandered while you read the report.”

It was a miracle you weren't more flustered or stuttering. Did you have any shame left?

“Oh,” he smirked playfully. “Were you thinking about me?”

How you wanted to answer with the sluttiest ‘yes’. You might have too, if he didn’t start again before you could.

“I jest,” He smiled. The brief intense look in his eyes gone. “Sorry I bored you. Your report was very good! You did an excellent job! I can tell you worked very hard on it.”

He was always so sweet, and made you so happy. His genuine, sweet smile making your heart flutter against your ribcage. “You’ve really adjusted to life in the darkness. It makes me so happy.”

Your smile grew even wider. “Thank you, Victor. I couldn’t have done it without you and your endless support.”

He gasped dramatically and held his hand to his chest. You could have sworn you saw tears in the edge of his eyes. “I’m so pleased to hear you think so highly of me.”

A pleasant warm feeling filled your chest. Somehow your mind started to wander again.

“Oh, before you go, the Queen asked me to give a gift to you. She figured it was only right after all of your hard work.”

Your eyes widened and you straightened up in your seat. “Oh?”

“One moment! I’ll get it out.”

He leaned down in his chair and opened a drawer. You stood from your seat and walked around the desk to look. You peered over. Your eyes were more focused on him than the floor.

Your toe caught on something and your body tumbled forward. When your eyes opened his hands were on you to steady you. And you were in his lap. 

Your body was so close to him.

His eyes were wide and his face flushed for a brief second. The concern in his eyes lingered.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. You suddenly realized your hand was resting on his chest.

His fingers touched below your chin. They gently and seductively tilted it up, until your eyes looked directly in his. “If you wanted to touch me, you could have just said so.”

Your whole body went hot. Your muscles nearly trembled from holding back.

His carefree smile returned. “Jus-” 

You pressed your lips against his. Your control shattered. Your hands gripped the front of his jacket to pull him close.

He stiffened and a soft moan came from his throat. You pulled away already panting. You stared him directly in the eyes.

“I want you.” It rolled off your tongue so easily. Your desire finally made itself known.

You could feel his chest rise and fall. He sucked in a breath. His eyes still caught in shock, uncertainty swam in them. You smiled softly at him and slowly pulled him in. He leaned in and your lips met again.

Warmth sparked in your body as his lips kissed back. Moving perfectly with yours. He held you close. His hands held onto your sides.

You opened your mouth and the kiss quickly deepened. A hunger invading it as his hand went to the back of your head and held you close. He angled his head to kiss you better. All of the longing and need for him you had held back suddenly poured out. You adjusted to straddle him.

Your lips tangled together and you pressed into each other. The both of you gave into desire. You lowered yourself. Your crotch came into contact with his. Your breath hitch. You gave an experimental push. Your kiss muffled the sound that came from him.

Your breaths became heavier as your hips rolled into each other again and again. Pleasure bursted in you each time. You pulled back just a bit and bit your lip. It felt too good. It grew hotter and harder as you grinded against it. Your breath fluttered and you held on tight to him.

His lips brushed against your ear and he kissed it. He lightly jerked up into you. The pace became more frequent.

“V-victor!” You nearly cry out as he catches just right against you.

He gasped. His grip on you tightening, yet never losing the gentle touch. Like he was afraid to hurt you. Like you were a fragile treasure.

You melted together and hugged each other closer. Moaning and kept moving as the pressure built up. Your nails dug into him before you cried out and your hips stuttered.

He pressed you close with his hand on your lower back as he moaned loudly.

You let yourself collapse onto him. His muscles went limp, but still held you just as tenderly. You looked down between you and saw the wetness that seeped through his pants… or yours.

You laughed softly and leaned your forehead against his. You stared into his eyes for a moment, and in that moment you couldn’t think of a thing to say. But you knew you wanted to say something.

“Thank you,” you whispered. 

“No, thank you.” He leaned back to kiss your forehead. “You… truly are a wonderful person.” He rested his head against yours again.

You rubbed his arm through his clothes and smiled.

[gregorovitch-adler]

AO3 Wrapped (Writers' Edition).

Thanks for tagging me, @lisbeth-kk and @gaylilsherlock!

1. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

That I developed a genuine hyperfixation over an OT3 (Sherlock x John x Mariana). Enough that I wrote several fics (including a smutty one) about it.

I'm not even that big of a shipper in most fandoms (I tend to be a non-shipper generally), but even when I do start shipping something, it usually just involves 2 characters at a time.

Especially with the case of John Watson and Sherlock Holmes.

A year ago, I never would have imagined shipping either of them with anyone else apart from each other (because I'm generally not a multi-shipper).

It changed this year because the friendship among these three in the canon of the podcast Sherlock & co is just that good.

It was a very pleasant surprise to me. :))

Expanding my usual writing style from writing about strictly monogamous relationships (and that too usually just about Johnlock) to including a third character - and thus a polyam relationship in my fic writing - was a little challenging though.

A very interesting challenge, of course. ;)

2. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

Just one case fic right now. It's definitely going to increase.

3. Your favorite character to write this year?

Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul!

I know I didn't write a lot of fics about him this year, I'm just featuring him during this December fluff (fluffcember) prompts challenge, but still.

He'll always be my favourite antagonist.

If you've watched these two shows, you'll realise he's not even a villain. All significant characters (especially Walter White) have various degrees of villainy under their belts.

Something about him being such a no-nonsense kinda guy on the surface, never saying a word beyond what's necessary in the source material (especially in Breaking Bad), but all of that just being a façade to cover up his human side (i.e., his feelings for Max, his determination to avenge Max's death, his genuine respect for his employees at Los Pollos Hermanos and everything else) is extremely interesting and delightful to me.

In Tumblr-speak, I want to place Gustavo Fring under my microscope. 🤭

And then there's John Watson, of course. He's my all time favourite. But this year, I just felt the need to write about Gustavo Fring too a bit more.

Also, Irene Adler is my wife. ☺ I loved writing Mollrene ficlets in December this year.

Here's to featuring her in my stories even more.

4. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

I can't think of anyone in particular at the moment, but I did find capturing John's voice in The Veiled Lodger (my first ever Sherlock & co fanfic) a bit challenging in the beginning. Because I was only getting started with my Sherlock & co fic writing journey, and I wanted everything to be perfect.

5. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

Gus/Max.

I'll continue to write about Sherlock x John x Mariana (and even about just Holmes/Watson), too, obviously, but yeah.

I used to be a bit hesitant about this pairing before, even though I've always loved Gus ever since I first watched Breaking Bad (in 2020).

That's because we don't see Max in canon at all, save for that one (1) flashback scene which lasts for just 5 minutes (and Max dies brutally in that one...)

So, featuring Max in a fic at all would just mean writing an OC from scratch at this point. And making an OC feel like a fleshed out character makes me feel a little nervous sometimes.

But I broke all that hesitation this year, and I hope I continue to do that next year too!

6. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yes! I received 3 beautiful art pieces (including the one in my header image) from my friend as gifts. It was lovely. 🥰 @jamielovesjam

7. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

I did! @nowiamcoveredinyou and I wrote this fic based on ACD canon this year. We had fun.

8. What do you listen to while writing?

Nothing much, to be honest. I prefer a quiet environment.

9. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Hard to choose, but if I have to, then here you go:

Sherlock stepped forward and took John’s hands in his own.

“Watson, I’ve said this before, and I’ll repeat it now: fear is a sickness. Fear is seemingly ordinary but insidious enough to eventually put one in the shackles of one’s own imagination. Never let it get to you. I can very well face Moriarty alone. He did ask to meet me, anyway. So, this is my battle. I’ll fight it.” Sherlock visibly swallowed. “Please, go now. The lady will never find a doctor as good as you.”

From my Sherlock & co fic Dilemma. It's a modern day re-write of that one scene from The Final Problem (where Watson cannot decide whether to help the old lady or to go with Holmes to meet Moriarty with him).

I wrote it just after the Part- 1 of The Shoscombe Old Place (Sherlock & co) had aired on Spotify and YouTube (and on other platforms).

Moriarty's name had been (not so) casually dropped for the first time in the podcast when John was going through all the shoutouts.

We still don't know where they'll go with that... 👀

Enough with my rambling.

Tags: @helloliriels , @nowiamcoveredinyou , and anyone else who sees this! (No pressure).

[mayhem-neverending]

What Should Have Been Expected

Tobirama Senju x Petite!f!Reader

Note: This is a completely self indulgent fic. I am literally under five feet so the reader will be portrayed as such.The reader is artistic, loves singing, painting, crocheting, cooking and being generally joyful. She’s a foil to Tobirama, especially because she hates formalities and enjoys deep, meaningful relationships (not to say that he doesn’t, its just a different approach). I think this is going to turn into a series - at least I hope. Definitely more than one part though. 

Edited.

Warnings: none

Summary: Arranged marriage AU (strangers). Exploration into how Tobirama would fall for a woman who had an opposite personality.

Part II

You had only met your husband the day before you were to be wed. The meetings between your father and Hashirama had decided the union of your clans would be enacted by marriage between you and Tobirama Senju, seeing as Hashirama had been recently married to strengthen their alliance with the Uzumaki clan. 

In that single meeting with your future husband, all your nerves were amplified. You had known he was a straightforward, solitary, emotionless type of man from the descriptions your step-mother and father had given you, but you had expected him to at least be more pleasant; you would be together the rest of your lives, after all. 

Your younger brothers, who were at the table with you when information concerning his personality was passed to you were outraged. They knew their loving sister well, you had practically raised them, after all. They had argued that you deserved more than some stuffy man, and that you didn’t need to marry for the clans to work together in peace. 

Your father had only sighed at this, while your step-mother snapped at the three of them to hush. “Y/n is aware of her duties. That is final,”

Her words swam in your head after your meeting with Tobirama Senju. He had been mostly silent, and the only thing he had to say to you was that he was happy that your alliance could be solidified; that it was good for the newly established village. His shoulders had been tensed, his face impassive. It was like his person was in black and white, and that the only color he possessed was the blue of his armor. You contemplated how it would work between the two of you; you, who most often radiated vibrant color. It was a terribly uncomfortable twenty minutes and you were glad when it ended. You were not so glad to see him again at your wedding the next day. 

The ceremony was beautiful, but quick. Only your immediate family and clan heads had attended. Tobirama had decided that they would forgo the reception so that he could show you your new home and he could return to his duties sooner, much to Hashirama’s dismay. You had not actually been aware of that decision either, and although you had wanted to socialize, you didn’t mind this decision much. You didn’t want to be paraded around by a stranger while people congratulated you on what you could only assume would be a loveless marriage. 

His home was not far from the venue, so the two of you walked. It gave you some time to observe him and the village before you would be stuck inside his home with him. You could not deny that he was very handsome. The mid-morning sun accentuated his beauty, and you found yourself grateful that your parents had the decency to arrange your marriage to a handsome man. If nothing else, you would make beautiful children. Many of the women you knew were not so lucky.

You arrived in silence at a large home with a spacious garden and a pretty red stone walkway to the front porch. In front of the porch were rose bushes and the last couple of white tulips of the spring. The scene gave rise to hope that this man had more color to him than you originally thought. He led you up the steps to the door and opened it for you politely, his hand hovering behind your shoulder. Not once had he touched you yet.  

The house opened to a wide open area, with a front room followed by a kitchen and living room. It was all colored in white and very dark wood, with the only character coming from the earthy fireplace at the far end of the living room next to the large windows. Everything was spotless, the books on a matching dark wooded shelf at the left wall of the living room were even organized with precision. While it was nice to see a man who could keep things clean, it was also disappointing. There was a distinct lack of life in your new home, and you doubted he would be open to many changes from your few interactions thus far.

“This will be our home,” He stated plainly and shut the heavy door behind the two of you. 

You walked to your new kitchen and spent some time surveying the contents of the cabinets without a word. It seemed fairly empty food-wise, but the dishware was of good quality and most of the tools you would need were there. 

Tobirama’s eyes followed you curiously the whole time. He stood next to the island with his arms crossed in what you could already tell was his usual manner. You glanced up at him from your spot crouched down to look at the contents under the sink. 

“How would you like to delegate the household tasks?” 

Tobirama studied your tiny form crouched in your dress robes before answering slowly. “What is it that you would prefer?”

You stood up, surprised. However, if he was going to ask rather than demand like most men, you wouldn’t stop him. “I’ll do the cooking, it’s something that brings me joy.” You purposefully surveyed your surroundings. “I would appreciate it if you cleaned afterwards. You seem to have a certain way you like things, and I am not sure how long, or if ever, I could catch up to your standards... I will take on the duty if you are too busy, however.”

Tobirama nodded, appreciative of your observation. “That seems reasonable. I am often absorbed in my work, as I have an unending, hefty load. If you could take care of the daily chores for the most part, I will send clones to help you clean.”

“Clones?”

He uncrossed his arms and made a hand sign in. In a puff of smoke, an exact replica of him appeared. It looked at you with the same intense eyes your husband had. You gasped aloud and the right corner of his mouth lifted just barely. 

“I invented this jutsu. While it was created for battle, I find them to be useful for other tasks as well.” The clone disappeared again and you both stood in silence.

You eyed him warily as your surprise wore away. “So, you’ll be absent for the most part,”

Tobirama frowned at this, though he couldn’t argue otherwise. He only nodded and you sighed, out of relief or disappointment he couldn’t tell. A part of him hoped it was the latter, though he pushed that feeling aside.

“Your things arrived early this morning. I took the liberty of moving them to the bedroom.” He turned on his heel and headed for the hallway across from the kitchen. You followed behind him as he pointed out which room was which. The first door on the left was his office, the next a guest bedroom, and opposite it was a bathroom. At the end of the hall on the right was the door to your bedroom, and a linen closet took up the very back wall of the hall. 

“This,” he pointed to a door across from the bedroom, “is yours. I was made aware of your affinity for crafts.”

Oh.

“Thank you,” You genuinely smiled at him for the first time since you met. A certain giddiness mixed with relief bubbled in your chest. Maybe your husband would be more tolerable after all. 

He had already been looking at you from the corner of his eye to gauge your reaction, and the hint of a smile played at his lips at your thanks.

You stepped to your right into your very plain shared bedroom. White drapes, white sheets, and again with the dark wood furniture. There was nothing to suggest it was used - it lacked anything personal as far as you could see. You would have pegged it for the guest bedroom if not for the room’s large size and your bags and trunk at the end of the bed. 

“That is your dresser.” He pointed to one of the matching dressers. “And I have already moved my things to one side of the closet. I have to resume my work now, so I will leave you to unpack,”

You blinked. You turned to look at him but he was already leaving the room. You let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding when you heard the click of his office door closing behind him. 

You began unpacking your clothes and organized them in piles to put away and hang up. You also decided to change out of your dress-robes while you had everything out. Once you were done with that task, you went and inspected the en-suite bathroom. It was large, with a tub and separate standing shower. It also had a nice double vanity with a lovely granite top. 

You put your things under the sink and added your toothbrush to the porcelain cup. It had been over an hour and you hadn’t heard a peep from Tobirama’s office. You were done unpacking and getting hungry. 

You quietly went to stand in front of his door, unsure whether to knock or not. You needed to go to the market, and you figured you should at least let him know. 

The door opened before you could knock. Your husband stood on the other side, his piercing gaze locking on to yours. “What is it?”

“I, uh..” You couldn’t think for a moment under his stare. His reddish brown eyes were incredibly intense. “I- the market. I need to get food,” 

He nodded and stepped into the hallway with you, closing the door behind himself and locking it. It was easier to speak with his back turned. “You don’t have to come if you’re busy, I just wanted to let you know,” 

He looked at you out of the corner of his eye as you began walking beside each other toward the front door. “I am your husband now. It is my duty to pay for what you need and ensure your safety.”

You huffed at that, it sounded somewhere between a laugh and an exasperated noise. How traditional of him.

With your shoes on and your coin purse tucked safely in your pocket, you headed out the door. Once you were down the steps you couldn’t help the smirk that formed on your face. 

“Your home is barren, Tobirama. I hope you’re prepared to completely stock your kitchen,” 

“Our home,” he corrected.

You wondered if he was trying to push the idea of ‘our’, if he would be easier to live with than you had originally assumed.

You walked with a foot of space between each other for the few blocks it took to make it to the market district. Besides a glance when you had arrived, this was your first time being there. It was a pleasure to see the bustling street and hear the chatter, along with the yells of children playing between the parents shopping. You watched a mother pull her child to her side, but as soon as she had turned back the vendor, the child ran to the other side of the street to the little girl she had been playing with. You laughed as the mother visibly huffed in frustration. 

Tobirama looked at you clearly for the first time since you had set out. The impassive expression eased away. Although he didn’t smile with his mouth, it was clear in his eyes, along with a glitter of curiousity. He watched you laugh and the tinkling sound of it secretly delighted him. 

“What is it?”

You were still smiling when you answered him. “The children’s antics and the mothers frustration - it reminds me of my little brothers,”

He raised a brow at you before leading you to the stalls from behind you. “I thought your brothers were shinobi?”

You let out something between a scoff and a laugh. “They’re children, first.”

You turned and craned your neck to look up at him. Your face was level with his chest and he was closer to you than he had been since your meeting. His eyes were on yours as he looked at you with a hint of confusion. 

You knew little of his past, but he was a child of the warring era that was slowly coming to an end, thanks to the efforts of Hashirama, Madara, and him. The years had been difficult for everyone, but especially for the child soldiers, which you knew he had been. 

“Children will be children, shinobi or not. I hope you remember that when we start having babies.” You narrowed your eyes at him; a warning.

He choked, his eyebrows shooting up and his composure waning for a moment. He had not expected you to be so forthright, and in public no less. You gave him no time to respond. You stopped at the first stall and picked out a couple of beautifully ripe tomatoes. 

“How large is you-our back yard?” You took the paper sack the vendor gave you and gave a small bow of thanks.

Recovered, he responded flatly. “About an acre, why?”

You nodded in appreciation. “We’ll be getting seeds while we’re here. There’s still plenty of time to start a garden,”

Tobirama didn’t mind the idea of a small garden. “I would not be opposed to a small flower garden, if you so wish,”

You giggled mischievously and he wondered what he had said, although he appreciated the sound more than anything.“Yes, I could certainly put a small flower garden next to my large vegetable garden... Yes, that is a very good idea, husband. Oh, and you use water jutsu, how about that? You can water it all for me,” 

He nearly balked at your words. Of all things, he had not expected your sly smirk; you were pushing him, trying to find the line. He just stared at you blankly. What had he gotten himself into?

[wrestlersownmyheart]

An Unconventional Wedding Night (Finn Bálor X Female Reader) *One-Shot*

Summary: You are rescued from one danger only to be hurled into a completely different kind of danger. You are to be the bride of King Bálor—a supposedly mythical being in Celtic folklore. But, he is very real. And he wants you as his prized possession.

Bálor is relentlessly determined to win your affections.

After all, it's nothing a little gentle persuasion can't fix.

Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with NXT or WWE. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination. Content Warning: No sex scenes just some graphic violence and fluff.

Note: This has been pretty drastically edited from the first time I posted it. I cleaned out the sex scene and it's no longer a threesome-esque fic. Hope this doesn't disappoint and that it is still enjoyed!

An Unconventional Wedding Night

Your nerves were shot as you walked toward the remote cabin's porch.

Tonight was the night you were finally giving yourself to a man. And it scared you to death. And for that very reason, you wanted nothing more than to get back in your car and drive home.

Am I doing the right thing, you wondered. I mean... Do I really want to do this? I mean, yes, he's my boyfriend, but I'm not in love with him, for crying out loud! I want my first time to be special—how is it special when I am feeling so unsure and conflicted about it?

And then you felt badly because Derek—your boyfriend for the past three months—had planned this romantic weekend get-away for the both of you.

Suddenly your thoughts halted altogether as Derek opened the cabin's door and bolted down the steps toward you. He looked as though he was trying a little too hard to appear excited. His smile was etched into his face. His dark eyes held an emotion you couldn't quite read.

"Hey, beautiful," he greeted, bending down and kissing your mouth. He latched onto your hand and hurried up the steps with you in tow, simultaneously taking your purse from you.

"Derek?" You struggled to not stumble and fall as he literally pulled you into the cabin and tossed your purse toward the large, rustic sofa. Wordlessly, he pushed you—none too gently—into the nearest bedroom and kicked the door shut with his foot.

He seems... off. Tense. "If you're nervous, we don't have to do this tonight," you spoke up, your free hand fidgeting with the hem of your t-shirt. "I am feeling a bit anxious about it myself-"

The remainder of your words were trapped within your throat as his mouth crashed against yours. He nudged you back toward the foot of the large bed and held you there as he kissed you.

"Derek-" You tried again, but he didn't seem to be paying attention to you. Your nerves finally got the best of you and made your mind up for you. You pulled your head back to look up at him. "I-I can't do this. I'm sorry. I just can't. Not yet-"

Click.

The noise was accompanied by a sharp little pressure to your left wrist. Glancing down, you saw that Derek had handcuffed you to the foot-board of the bed. All sorts of thoughts raced through your mind. And none of them were pleasant.

Uselessly, you tugged on your wrist, testing the strength of the cuff that held you. "Derek... Please. Let me go. D-don't do this!"

An odd smile crossed his face as he backed away from you. "Oh, I am not doing anything to you, beautiful. Well... other than keeping you here, that is."

You shook your head, confused beyond measure and now frantically yanking at your wrist. "What? Why? What is this?"

"Do you know how valuable you really are?"

"What are you talking about," you screamed at him, fear shaking your voice. You began pulling at your wrist again, trying desperately to get free. "This is crazy! Let me go!"

"I'm being compensated for your capture. The money I am getting..." He trailed off and chuckled slightly. "...It's well worth giving you up. I'll be rich and able to get any woman I want. Someone who won't make me wait months just to take her to bed."

His disgusting and vague explanation still cleared nothing up for you. But before you could ask any more questions, the bedroom door blew open with what seemed to be a huge gust of wind.

A gust of wind that never died. It kept roaring and screaming; whipping—not only your hair, but your t-shirt and shorts—around on your body. The force of it nearly ripped the clothing off of you in its strength.

And then another person was in the room with you and Derek. Only a silhouette was clear at that moment, what with the living room light blindingly bright behind them. Had the light been that bright when we first came into the cabin? The being appeared to be male, what with his physique and stature. Panting from the struggle to breathe with such a brutal force of wind in your face, you glanced over at Derek. He seemed to recognize the man, but he had terror in his eyes, nonetheless.

"I brought her," Derek spoke loudly over the air lashing about all of you. "I brought her here, just like you wanted. Now give me my pay. I want to get out of here and be done with it."

The man silently lifted his arms, making a parting motion with them and the wind finally ceased. You nearly toppled from the absence of the strong force. Willing your wobbly legs to hold you up, you glanced in the stranger's direction.

Something is really wrong here. He actually made that wind stop. Completely!

"Pay," the man repeated. "You want your pay?"

You cringed. The man's voice was horrible. Scratchy, and deep and full of malice. Horrified, you watched as the man—or creature—gave a flick of a... a talon-like finger? And then Derek was propelled across the room and dropped at the monster's feet; suddenly a whimpering mess.

No sound escaped your lips as you watched in open-mouthed horror.

"You should know better than to make a deal with a demon. We're not known for keeping our word."

What? Your mind was not computing, nor accepting the fact that you were indeed in the room with an underworldly force. And then you mentally replayed what you'd seen the... thing do, and you knew—to the marrow of your bones, you truly were in the presence of a monster.

The creature suddenly reached down and tangled it's fingers into Derek's curly hair. Your chest heaved as you waited to see what the demon would do. And yet, somehow... you knew...

Your ex-boyfriend screamed a hideous howl just as the monster lifted it's curled fist, with what appeared to be no effort at all, and tore Derek's head from his shoulders. The scream was cut short. Only the sound of ripping flesh and the cracking of bones could be heard, mixing with the sound of the demon's purr-like growls. You grew nauseated as Derek's spinal cord emerged from his body next, still attached to his head.

Then his decapitated body fell limply in the floor, right at your feet.

Finally.

Finally, a scream ripped from your throat, scorching it raw.

You tried to back away, but of course, your cuffed wrist would only allow you to go so far. Ignoring the pain, you yanked and pulled anyway, praying you could break the cuff with enough strain on the chain. Your eyes stayed on the monster's figure. You still were unable to make out his features as he'd remained in the doorway the whole time, but as he moved forward slightly and turned to stare at you, you could see that his form was naked. The possible implications of that had you panicking even more, pulling on the cuff's chain, determined to break it and free yourself.

You could feel his eyes raking over you, watching you stare at his naked body. A sinister, gravelly chuckle filled the room.

"Don't worry, little human. Many of us demons don't feel the need to bother with clothing. No, I'm not here to bed you." He released Derek's head and spine, and the bloody mess hit the floor with a loud, squishy thud. "I'm only here to kill you."

You screamed again, your attempt to calm yourself completely forgotten. You began violently pulling on your wrist, twisting it this way and that, frantic with the need to get free. Out of nowhere, a force propelled you through the air, much the same way Derek had been treated. Your shoulder screamed in protest as your body jerked in mid-air having gone as far as the handcuff would allow. You were tugged further and further till you felt a snap in your shoulder and collarbone.

"STOP IT! PLEASE!"

Your tortured scream only seemed to amuse the demon. You heard him chuckling again, a dry, scraping sound, deep in his throat. And as you watched him with wide frightened eyes, he lifted a clawed finger to his lips and shushed you as if admonishing a small child.

He flicked the same finger down toward the hard-wood floor and you fell to it in a crumpled heap. The only sound you could make was a wheezed gasp, as you fought to stay conscious. Pain attacked your neck, shoulder and collarbone all at once and it was difficult to breathe. Fingers curled into the hair at your scalp, and tugged, forcing you up onto your knees. You pictured yourself being torn apart by the bloodthirsty demon, just like Derek was.

"Do you know why this is happening?"

You swallowed hard and shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.

"You're to be King Bálor's wife—his Queen." His fingers curled tighter into your hair and you cried out softly from the sharp twinge of pain at your hairline. "Being bonded and married to you will only make him stronger. I can not let that happen. I plan to overthrow him."

"It... It-It won't happen," you managed to say through chattering teeth. "I don't want to marry at all. Let me go. Please, believe me! I won't marry anyone."

"He's not leaving you a choice. And he's left me none as well. You have to die. It's the only way. And I have to be the one to kill you." His free hand went to your throat and squeezed harshly, a foreboding warning of your fate. Instantly, you began struggling fruitlessly in his hold. "Some of the other rebelling Fomorians won't back me up in the overthrow unless..."

Shaking uncontrollably, you tuned him out at that point and tugged and clawed at his hand, frantic to get him to release you.

That's when you noticed a dark blur fly into the room and dive right into your demonic captor.

Both beings flew across the room, grappling as you tumbled back to the floor.

You took that moment to back up as far as you could in an unstable, one-armed crab walk. An invisible fire seemed to flair relentlessly up and down your left arm and shoulder at the movement, and you collapsed once more to the floor, fighting off the urge to vomit with a soft, pained groan.

In the next instant, you were lifted to your feet, gently. A strong arm went around your waist and tugged you against a sure, sturdy frame. Your head tipped forward and rested against a hard chest as your eyes closed. A soft, male voice, warm with a thick Irish accent whispered near your ear.

"Open y'r eyes, love. Look at me." Fingertips touched ever so lightly at your temple and you began thinking more clearly, your drowsiness was slowly ebbing. "I need ya t' stay awake, Y/N, so ya can get outta here—safely."

You lifted your head and looked at the man who was addressing you so intimately.

And you gasped.

Despite the fact that your life was in peril, you couldn't stop the thought:

He's... breathtaking!

His face was insanely handsome. A fairly tall—at least next to you he was—gorgeous man wearing solid black—a black shirt, black jeans and a black leather jacket, to be exact.

A full, dark beard and mustache adorned the lower half of his face. The same color of hair topped his head in a short fade haircut. His eyes were as pale a blue as the morning sky. His skin was neither pale, nor dark, and his sensuous, full lips glistened after a quick swipe of his tongue. Before you could say anything to him, the arm that held you pulled you even closer, and then his mouth claimed yours softly; lovingly. His mustache scratched lightly at your upper lip and you leaned closer into him.

It was a simple kiss, but it left you reeling. You couldn't lie to yourself. You wanted more. This was the man you were meant to be with. But instead of kissing you again, he pulled back a ways and smiled at you once more. "Beautiful."

Wait... He's calling me beautiful?

It was then you noticed that he held one hand up, his palm facing the direction of the demon who'd tried to kill you. The monster was currently frozen in place. He appeared to be under the control of the man holding you. Your rescuer's hand tremored slightly, as if an unseen force had hold of his wrist and was trying to move his hand away.

Your purse and car keys materialized into the gorgeous stranger's free hand then and he placed them into the hand of your uninjured arm before touching the handcuff on your other wrist. The restraint instantly fell open and you were free.

"I want ya t' go. Get in y'r car an' get outta here, lass. I will find ya when I'm done wit' the trait'r. Then you're comin' home. Wit' me. Finally." His blue eyes glanced over at the demon; pure disdain on his face. Then he turned to you once more and before you could ask him where "home" was, he kissed you again, sweeping his warm mouth across yours, and a subtle thrust of his tongue past your lips. You couldn't stop the whimper that escaped you. He swallowed it greedily then gave you a gentle nudge. "Go, m' love."

You took a tentative step backward, eyes wide and fixed on your beautiful rescuer.

In the next instant, he was gone and another man stood in his place. Swirling ribbons of reds, and blacks and smatterings of white swirled all over his shirtless frame. A set of washboard abs snatched your attention, and you let your gaze follow them down lower to the slightly skimpy pair of black trunks that revealed a clear imprint of his very impressive-

"GO!"

With a frightened gasp, your eyes shot back up to his face and discovered he was glaring at you with red eyes. "LEAVE!"

You stumbled backward, ignoring the stab of pain in your shoulder and then spun around and scrambled out of the cabin and out to your car.

You wouldn't see the look of malice on the stranger's face as he turned and glared at the Fomorian traitor.

"You knew not t' screw wit' me, Turlough," he addressed his former servant. "And you definitely knew not t' put your hands on my Queen."

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

You somehow hauled yourself into your SUV with only one good arm but had to attempt several times at getting the key into the ignition, your hand was shaking so horribly. "Please..." you sobbed, trying once again as you glanced toward the cabin. You could hear all kinds of growls and roars and the sounds of punches being thrown and landing. The lights flickered on and off in the windows. You finally heard the metallic scrape of the key sliding into the ignition after you jabbed at it once more. You turned it, and as soon as the engine kicked over and started, you were peeling out backward, eager to get on the road, and head back to the safety of your house.

Gravel flew all around you and pelted your car in your haste to leave. But you didn't care about the possibility of a chipped paint job or cracked windows. The only thing you wanted was to get home, shower, curl up in your bed and try to forget the terrifying things you'd seen that night. Though, secretly, you hoped your rescuer would find you again. A couple of kisses were not enough by a long shot. Then you realized you must be completely insane to fall in love with a man you'd just met.

Lost in your thoughts as you sped down the deserted old highway, you were startled by a loud banging sound at the back of your car. Suddenly, you were fishtailing all over the road. Instinctively, you applied pressure to your breaks and tried to regain control of the vehicle. A flurry of movement to your left snagged your attention then, and you dared a glance out the driver's window.

And you instantly regretted that decision.

The demon that had attempted to kill you apparently escaped your rescuer somehow, because he was tailing you.

On foot.

Bare. Foot.

And he was keeping up with your car's speed.

His eyes glinted brightly in the darkness and you could feel the anger and hatred for you radiating off of him.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Your scream did nothing, of course. The demon only snarled at you before launching his body at your car. The same banging noise reverberated through your car and you almost lost control of it again.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

You struggled to keep your car on the road as the demon once more slammed into it. Not giving you a chance to recover, he slammed into you once again, giving the car a hard shove as he did.

And that is when you lost all control. Your world literally spun around you as you screamed and the car took flight and rolled over and over again. And again, and again. You were catapulted into pitch black darkness before the vehicle had even stopped flipping.

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

When you finally began coming to, your eyes struggled to open. You blinked them and scrunched them, but your vision was blurry at best.

A pained groan emerged from your throat and you became aware of hands on your face, and coasting over your body. Immediately, you remembered the car accident.

And the demon who'd caused it.

Acting on impulse, you kicked out with your foot and swung your fist. Which did nothing to help you, since you didn't connect with anything—or anyone. The sudden movement merely sent tremors of excruciating pain through your entire body and head. You sobbed and tried to turn onto your stomach; your mind telling your body to crawl and get away.

"Shhh, love." A familiar male voice spoke softly as hands took hold of you and once more ran over your body, seemingly searching for something. "You're so strong. An' perfect," the man spoke again; his tone full of awe and pride. "Hurt as much as you are, and still tryin' t' fight to live." There was a pause. "I have t' get ya back t' d'a castle. You're badly hurt."

The Irish stranger... Your thoughts were muddled, but you'd recognize that voice anywhere from then on. It was as if it was branded into your mind.

Fingers brushed over your ribs, sending a wave of fiery pain bolting up your side. You winced as a ragged wail burst from your lips.

"Broken ribs," came his murmur. "Dislocated shoulder and broken collar bone. Definitely a concussion."

Hearing all your injuries listed off sent you into another panic. You struggled anew, trying to free yourself from the hands holding you prisoner. The only thing you accomplished however, was sending more roiling pain crashing through your head and body.

"Easy, lass. Easy," the man soothed as he held you tighter. "I'm not goin' t' hurt ya."

His words didn't matter. Not after what you'd been through. You continued to panic and fight and struggle until your body could take no more pain and you went out like a light.

You became vaguely aware of being carried as you slowly gained a little consciousness. Your head rested against a strong shoulder. You wanted to lash out—to fight. But your limbs were so heavy. And literally everything hurt. You couldn't even open your eyes any more than little slits. You were at your rescuer's/kidnapper's mercy. And you hated it.

"Please..." you whimpered. "Please, don't hurt me..."

To your surprise, you felt soft, warm lips press against your forehead in a tender caress.

"Nev'r," came a whispered reply. You felt yourself being laid down on a soft surface—a bed. "I'd take my own life b'fore I'd ever hurt ya."

You let your head settle into the pillow beneath you. "You don't even know me..."

"Oh, but I do, love. I do. You have no idea how much I know you—how much I love you. I've waited s' long t' have you." You felt him take your hand and bring it to his lips with a soft kiss. "I'm Bálor. I'm your husband."

"I've gone crazy..." you uttered, struggling to open your eyes. "You're a Celtic...myth. I have to be dreaming." I have to be losing my mind, you thought groggily. You gained enough strength to open your eyes and looked up to see the gorgeous Irishman gazing down at you, tenderness in his blue eyes.

Bálor, you thought.

He was beautiful, but intimidating. His eyes were a vibrant blue but they would flash red every now and then. Suddenly, he was... painted for the lack of a better term—the swirling red, black and white colors returned with a vengeance.

"I won't hurt you, love." His voice growled at you, but his face held no malice—quite the opposite, actually. "You don't have t' be afraid o' me. I'll protect you wit' my life."

"B-but... You... you scared me. At the cabin. You looked like you'd kill me," you stammered, struggling to sit up.

Bálor helped ease you up so you were propped against the headboard and shook his head.

"As I told ya, I would never hurt ya. I was... scared of you bein' d'ere, in d'a cabin wit' d'a traitor. Ya were too stunned to leave, so I had to get a little fierce to frighten ya int' leavin'. But I'd never've hurt ya."

"I still..." you had trouble finding the words you needed. "I still... am not sure what you want with me."

"Ye're mine, love. Ye're my wife and queen."

"How," you asked incredulously. "I mean... There's been no wedding! And what if I don't want to marry anyone?" You moved to rise from the bed when he stopped you by gently taking your arm.

"You didn't want to marry anyone," Bálor admitted, shifting back to his human form. "Till you saw me. Till I kissed you."

You froze. He had you there.

Before you could reply, an older woman in a black, modest maid's uniform knocked on the open door, and stepped inside the room. She carried a small silver tray with what looked like a shot glass of red liquid in it.

"The... medicine you asked for, your highness." She gave a respectful nod to Bálor.

"T'ank you, Sophie," Bálor replied, stepping over to her and taking the glass from the tray. "D'at will be all."

You'd shakily risen to your feet as the maid vacated the room, but nearly sank to the floor as your pain attacked ferociously. Bálor set the glass down on the night table and then shot over to you and caught you, holding you up as gently as was possible. You apprehensively grasped at his torso so you could keep your balance.

"Maybe... I could stay till I'm healed up," you murmured weakly. A pained grunt passed your lips as another stab of pain assaulted your ribs. Your legs threatened to buckle when Bálor lifted you up and placed you back on the bed.

Bálor picked up the glass again and then lifted your head enough so you could drink it. "Take d'is, love," Bálor whispered. "'Twill help with the pain."

"What is it," you asked, suddenly growing sleepy again. Pain had always affected you that way.

"It's, uh... medicine," Bálor said, glancing at your face and then back to the glass. "It's a concoction of t'ings d'at will help ya feel bett'r. A potion for healin', a pain killer, a sedative so you can rest, wine t' relax ya, and... a couple ot'er t'ings d'at will aid in your healin'."

Your eyes were closing even as he spoke, and you felt the rim of the glass touch your lips.

"Drink, love," you heard him rasp softly.

Too drowsy to argue, you accepted the drink, wrinkling your nose as a metallic flavor flooded your mouth. "Yuck," you sighed once you'd swallowed it. Your head was gently deposited onto the pillow. And, true to his word, you did begin feeling less pain almost instantly. Your sleepiness increased ten-fold. and you felt something else... Something strange... As you slowly drifted, your body began humming with sensitivity. You gasped at the feel of heat flooding your body.

You'd never felt aroused in your life. You never knew what the big fuss was all about. But now...

Now, you knew—all too well.

"What... what did you do?..." You moaned out at the man watching you intently.

"Ye'll sleep now," Bálor smiled warmly at you. "And ya will have many...interestin' dreams." He leaned down, brushing his lips across yours, eliciting a sharp moan from you. "And when ya wake, love... Be warned. Y'r body will be aching f'r me."

Blackness slid across your eyes and settled into your mind then.

Until the dreams began...

They were strange... In that you were in pitch darkness. You couldn't see anything.

But oh... You could feel...

You couldn't move. Normally that would have panicked you, but... Not when warm invisible hands touched you the way they were.

With no warning, your eyes shot open. Your chest heaved as you panted for air.

But you felt no pain. You'd apparently healed up, just as Bálor said you would.

Not to mention after your long sleep, you were wide awake.

And so was your body. You discovered that quickly as the knot of tension in your belly made itself very known and-

Wait.

You looked to your side and found Bálor.

Naked as the day he was born.

With a shocked screech, you sat up in the huge bed and attempted to vacate it, only to be pulled back by a pair of strong arms. You struggled as you were tugged down to the mattress. The arms surrounded you and you became aware of the fact that you suddenly didn't want to resist.

"Where do ya t'ink ye're goin', lovey?"

You lifted your gaze upward and found yourself staring into Bálor's captivating blue eyes. An amused smile played at his full lips.

Why does he have to be so gorgeous?

"You're gorgeous too, darlin'." Bálor growled softly.

Your body shivering from raw nerves, you stammered out, "Y-you can r-read my mind?"

Your hair was brushed from your neck and his warm mouth peppered the skin with soft kisses and nibbles. "Mmm-hmmm..."

Your body's shaking intensified, and Bálor tilted your face up to his. "Don't be scared, love. I'm not goin' t' hurt ya." He smiled at you hungrily. "Anyt'ing but."

Something clicked in you then. You didn't know if it was the drug you were given to drink—you highly suspected it was blood—or if it was just self-discovery time. But...

You wanted him.

All of him.

You reached for Bálor, pressing your mouth to his and giving into your feelings for once in your life. You moaned into his mouth and curled your fingers in his hair, scraping his scalp lightly with your fingernails.

"Make love to me," you said, softly, shyly.

"That was my plan the whole time, love" Bálor chuckled, returning his mouth to yours. He slid his body over yours and slowly began unbuttoning the buttons of your blouse...

The End

[cinemaglow]

Thoughts on Nightwish’s new album Yesterwynde, after listening to it about three times.  I like this album a lot more than their last album Human::Nature.  One of the chief problems I had with H::N was that they underutilized Emppu Vuorinen, one of the best metal guitarists in the scene, both by hiding him in the mix and just not giving him any opportunities to shine.  Yesterwynde fixes that problem for the most part, although there are some points where the mix is…bad.  I didn’t have super high hopes for this album since I wasn’t too impressed by the singles, but it turns out the singles were just the weakest songs on the album.  When it’s meh it’s just meh and when it’s good it’s REALLY GOOD.  This is the first album without Marko Hietala, and while his absence is inevitably conspicuous there are times when they successfully play to the strengths of the remaining band members to compensate.  Jukka Koskinen from Wintersun does a great job on bass with some unique little flourishes.  The subject matter is much the same as the last two albums but there are some musical elements that are reminiscent of much earlier albums, which should be a pleasant surprise for fans of older Nightwish.  There are also some very new sounds; in particular some very electronic-sounding synths woven through the album.  These might be controversial but personally I think they work really well. 

I think I will probably buy this album on CD.  Even the songs I didn’t like as much may grow on me with repeated listening.  High points: Something Whispered Follow Me, Spider Silk.  Low Points: The Day Of, Perfume of the Timeless.

Track by Track

Yesterwynde

A very promising start.  I really like the choir sound at the beginning here.  Unfortunately most of the rest of the album will feature a more Imaginaerum-esque choir sound, which, while I think it was perfect for that album, can get a bit stale on this one.

An Ocean Of Strange Islands

The beginning especially is trying SO hard to be Storytime but it comes out muddled, with just too much going on.  There are no sounds that ever soar above the rest.  There’s a gorgeous guitar solo that you can barely hear over everything else (war flashbacks to Human::Nature).  I think the lyrics would be painting a compelling picture if I could follow them better.  I think I would really like this one if it just had better mixing.  I wonder if the fact that they don’t have Pip Williams doing their orchestral arrangement has anything to do with it.

The Antikythera Mechanism

I don’t have a lot to say about this one.  Still suffering from some muddy mixing at some points.  I think fans of Endless Forms Most Beautiful will really like this one.  I dig the little industrial section in the middle a lot.  This might be a song that sounds better live than on the album.

The Day Of...

I’m not a fan of the “Tuomas gives Floor a whole bunch of words to sing to a repetitive melody” approach, personally.  I will say something nice: I am pleasantly surprised by the electronic background on the verses. 

Perfume Of The Timeless

Needs Jukka Nevalainen.  Maybe I’m the only one that can hear a difference, but Kai Hahto, while technically proficient, lacks a tonal je ne sais quoi that Jukka had.  Again, I’m not a fan of the repetitive, staccato melody.  The constant “hah hah hah” choir sounds like one of the sounds my old 90s Yamaha keyboard could make, and it gets a little old.  Overall sounds like something off of EFMB.

Sway

Emppu Vuorinen gets to show off his gorgeous, extremely underrated acoustic guitar work here.  Acoustic Nightwish album/tour when?  Reminds me of the original demos for Angels Fall First.  Floor and Troy sound great together.  This is the point in the album where the orchestration and choir start actually sounding good; they come in gradually and the way they build is stunning.  At the end we have several melodic lines going but you can easily pick each of them out of the mix.  They should have edited Islands and Perfume down a bit and made this one a bit longer.

The Children Of 'Ata

If Tuomas doesn’t get to do an orientalism at least once per album he will die apparently.  The drum machine reminds me of Erasure and I’m not mad about it.  Floor’s performance is great.  The choral arrangements remind me of Once.  There are also bits that make me think of Oceanborn.  There’s a great little harp section. 

Something Whispered Follow Me

This is the Nightwish I love.  They bring Emppu out right from the beginning, unlike in H::N where he was hopelessly buried in the mix for the whole album.  Arrangement/mixing is lush but still clean, with the orchestration enhancing rather than distracting from the sound of the band.   Structurally it balances tension and quieter moments beautifully.   I love the swoopy little synth lick in the middle.  The only thing that makes me sad is that the backing vocals have a gaping Marko Hietala-shaped hole in them. 

Spider Silk

Again, a high point for me.  It starts with Tuomas’ signature piano at the beginning, but with some dark, modal touches.  Emppu gets to do some bluesy, almost Floydian guitar licks.  I love it.  The mixing allows the orchestra to work together with the heavy guitar and rhythm section rather than drowning them out.  Floor is a powerhouse.  I feel like it’s a little mean that every time Troy Donockley starts singing I’m like “we have Marko Hietala at home” but this song would be so good with Marko.

Hiraeth

Finally a song where the male vocal parts actually sound like they were written for Troy and not Marko.  I love how it goes back and forth between major and minor.  The buildup is gorgeous.  I do wish we could hear it with Jukka Nevalainen on drums.  I love the little touches of synth. 

The Weave

More synth—a newish sound for the band, but one that works really well.  Besides that this is a very classic Nightwish sound.  The Imaginaerum-style choral sound actually works really well here.  Musical callbacks to Grieg’s Hall of the Mountain King, which is a lot of fun.  Relentless guitar and drums, some good horn parts in the orchestra.  Floor showcases the full range of her abilities and literally ends the song on a very strong note.

Lanternlight

I have literally nothing bad to say about this one.  I was surprised by how much Tuomas’ piano playing has improved technically.  Not that there was anything wrong with it before but his touch and phrasing are on another level here.  Troy’s vocals are utilized very well rather than sounding like discount Marko.  Goosebumps all the way.   This is a great closer that immediately makes me want to start the album over again. 

[loudlooks]

Day 18 - Spring break

30 day challenge notes: quantity over quality, limited editing, stand-alone/unrelated stories unless specifically stated otherwise, not always tiva, chronologically randomly set in whatever pre-s11 season seems to fit

A/N: Tiva, Tony and Ziva dealing with drunk spring breakers at a crime scene. not at all what I had initially envisioned when @aksannyi suggested the prompt (thanks again! please don't feel obligated to read)

Tag for blocking/following: 30 days of spring

Prompt: Spring break

Word count: 588

-

With the influx of spring break tourists, the crowd at the pond kept growing, making it increasingly more difficult to keep the crime scene secure, and figure out who was an actual witness.

Ziva looked at the group of loud, drunk college students next up for a witness statement. She rubbed her brow, and checked the last statement she had written down, anything to postpone the inevitable just a little bit longer. A quick glance to her right proved there would be no last minute rescue coming from Tony, who was still being hit on by a busty blonde whose five-year old kept pulling her far too short skirt to get her attention.

With a heavy sigh, Ziva flipped to an empty page in her notebook, and walked over to the college students, who began to cheer loudly as she approached.

After a quick introduction, accompanied by a smile as fake as the blonde’s breast, Ziva tried to get a quick read on the five young men in front of her. The one who was nicknamed ‘Dink’, seemed to be the leader of the pack, and the least drunk, though not by much.

“Did you see what happened?” Ziva asked, sounding as pleasant and patient as she could muster.

All five talked over each other, most of it incomprehensible slurring. As soon as she sensed Tony’s presence next to her, her nerves calmed enough to try again. “Did you witness anything,”

“Yeah,” Dink said with drunk confidence, as he gave her the once-over, “your infinite beauty.”

Ziva briefly closed her eyes, knowing Tony would tease her with this interaction whenever he saw fit in the future.

“Have you ever killed anyone?” Dink asked, as he stepped closer and pointed at her gun.

Reflexively, Ziva grabbed his hand, and maneuvered him onto his knees single-handedly. “With this gun or my hands?” she asked calmly.

His friends stopped protesting, as soon as she glared at them.

“Either,” Dink almost whimpered, too drunk and intrigued to take a hint.

Tony took a step forward, and patted the young man’s shoulder. “It’s both.” He nodded at Ziva to let the guy go. “Didn’t you take out a couple of mercenaries with your thighs a few months ago?”

Ziva scoffed. “Only one, I shot the other.”

Dink stood up on wobbly legs, and looked at her in fear. “Why are the hottest chicks always the craziest.”

“Hey!” Tony warned, as he grabbed Ziva’s arm and held her back. “When did you guys get here,” he asked the group.

While none of them could agree on an exact time, it quickly became clear they had only arrived about fifteen minutes ago, and couldn’t have witnessed anything. “Get out,” he told them firmly, waving a hand in the direction of the exit.

He looked at Ziva with a small grin and shook his head, as he let go of her arm.

Ziva clenched her jaw. “Do you agree with him?"

“You are definitely the hottest woman I know,” Tony said with a sly smile.

“I meant the crazy part.”

Tony briefly tilted his head. “You did take out a Russian mercenary twice your size with nothing but your thighs.”

She shook her head minutely, and deliberately ignored the point Tony was trying to make. “I did not kill him, he was merely incapacitated.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Ziva.” He glanced around, then leaned in close so only she could hear. “If you wrapped your thighs around me, I would definitely die and go to heaven.”

[prettycoolducks]

Final season 14 dr who thoughts below the cut!! Lots of thoughts. Lots of spoilers. Might add more later.

Well, first things first, I actually liked the finale more than I thought I would! It was a pleasant surprise. Yes, Sutekh was defeated very easily, like all the previous gods have been, but I enjoyed the spectacle enough that I didn't mind (unlike that ball of catch, which was the most unsatisfying death possible). Besides, I don't think it was really about Sutekh the scary dog, was it? I enjoyed the doctor's speech as he dragged Sutekh through the vortex. "If you bring death, then I must bring life, right? Right?" He really sounded like he was convincing himself. I'm sure that therapy didn't work as well as the doctor would like us to think it did, but that's been clear for a while now. Also, I cried when Ruby was reunited with her mother, which is the first time I've cried at doctor who since... what, 2017? Jeez. I liked Ruby's departure, (even though we know we're not done with her yet) though I couldn't help but think that we hardly even knew her. Some of the impact was lost because of that. I really wish this season was longer than 8 episodes, and I really wish the 8 episodes we had were longer. The extra 10 minutes of the last episode really felt nice, and if Russel wants to continue shoving overconvoluted plot at us, I think we could do with a few extra minutes of screen time.

The first part of this finale felt rushed, and characters were pushed from scene to scene without much agency in the plot. It was an episode there to tell you, "things will happen in the next episode!" Without having much happen in the episode itself. When I was watching the first part of the finale, I couldn't help but notice all the little things that have bothered me this whole season. One of which is the directing/editing.

Compositionally, lighting, color-wise-- this season has felt very flat. I can't help but think back to when people noticed that the avatar live action seemed to film everything with the intent for it it be able to be edited for phone screen format. The important actions in the episodes always took place in the very center of the screen. Almost like if you watch old shows that were filmed for old TVs reformatted for widescreen. It looks off. It feels off. Wes Anderson films things with the characters in the middle of the screen for that very reason; he likes that effect. His films always have flat acting and pastel colors and shit on purpose. It doesn't really work for doctor who because that's not what they're going for, and it affects the emotional impact on the viewer. Musically, Murray Gold composed a lot of beautiful music for this season, as always, but it almost always felt utilized in the wrong way (not his fault at all). Music would play almost the entire duration of an episode, when some moments would have worked better silent. Might be in part due to the cartoonish style of the season, but I'm not so sure of that. (Like a lot of people gave Ruby's flatness the benefit of the doubt because they assumed it was due to her being an archetypal character in a TV show or something, which was not the case we now know). Even 11's era, which played his theme every 5 minutes it felt like, knew how to utilize the music pretty well. I know a lot of the og crew of the show left during Chibnall's run, and the new crew might just be gaining their footing. We'll see.

Overall, my final thoughts on this season would be... it was fun! Was it good? Ehhh... it was okay. But it was fun!

I've noticed a lot of problems Russel had in his original four season run were exacerbated in this season, and a lot of his strengths (like his character writing) were mysteriously absent. For a season so focused on family, we barely got to see Ruby's. I don't know anything about her mom, and every time Ruby called her she was... sitting at the kitchen table. Thinking back to Jackie, who was always doing something when Rose called (laundry, watching TV, having people over, etc). What is Ruby's mom's life? It seems like she just sits in her kitchen waiting for Ruby to come back lol. I would've liked to see more of her interacting with Cherry or foster kids or like, any hint into her life. I would've liked to see Ruby's flat being more lived in! From the moment we see Rose back in season one we know a lot about her just from her apartment! Her bedroom! She's messy, she lives in a not-so-great apartment, she sleeps through her alarms! So many little things could've helped Ruby feel more real. But I digress.

In the end, better than most Chibnall stuff, worse than Russel's og run, just kind of middling overall. The end. Excited to see the Christmas special! Moffat did good his last episode this season, so, cool that he's writing the special. Okay now I'm done.

[andromedaexists]

The Teras Trials || Lucien Burr

★★★★☆½

TW: HOMOPHOBIA (+ USE OF SLURS), SUBSTANCE USE, ABUSE, CATHOLICISM (+ SACRILEGE), BODY HORROR, BODY DYSMORPHIA, GORE + VIOLENCE, DEATH (GRAPHIC), SUICIDE (GRAPHIC), EXPLICIT SEX

This book is pretty much just a misery fest from start to finish. Things go from bad to worse to somehow worse but instead of resolving things or overcoming them they just... are bad.

Okay, all jokes aside (the prev is a quote from a 1 star review), this book is phenomenal. It follows Cassius Jones through the admission trials he needs to pass in order to enter the University in London and keep his family safe within the walls of the city.

I think it's safe to say that this is how I feel about Cassius Jones:

God, it's so hard to encapsulate everything about this book into words. This book changed me. Legitimately.

I guess before I start rambling, let's talk about why it's getting a 4.5 star and not a 5 start if I love it so much. That's simple: I felt that the book could go through a bit more editing (I found quite a few typos though the text) and I fucking despise Latin and I despise that this book makes me want to like Latin.

Okay, all that aside, time to ramble about what I love about this book!

This is an incredibly dark and bleak book and it does not shy away from that. It does not try to hide that behind a shiny marble veneer of myth. It is also unapologetically queer and I love that with every fiber of my being. Cassius is queer, and i mean that in the very American way (despite the book and I think author being British). Cassius is not only gay, he is queer and he is proud of that fact and nothing stands in the way of him and his inherent queerness.

There is very little hope in this book, it takes a mirror to the monstrosity lying just below the surface of the reader and forces you to confront that. Forces you to acknowledge that if you were in the same situation you would have done the same.

There is a lot of finding beauty in the monstrous here, only the monstrous is humanity. There is a lot of beauty and a lot of horror shown through people in this book and it enraptured me, held me at the edge of me seat the entire time I was reading.

I was crying at multiple times in this book because of the way that monstrosity and beauty is shown. One of the times that really got me (twitter and Rafiq can attest to this) was the line:

God, is it such a sin to wish to be loved?

IN THE MIDDLE OF A SEX SCENE. I was weeping while Cassius was getting his back blown out and I am a better person for it.

Actually, since I brought out a quote, lemme tell you some other ones that got me:

You cannot escape it by wealth or war. No fort will keep it out, no ships outrun it.

I feel the brunt of my grief at that moment. I am my father's queer son. I am not the one he wanted.

I fear being seen; I fear being known.

The admission itself makes us co-conspirators, harbourers of queer desires in a queer little world.

For there is no escape from miasma, no hiding from the gods, no avoiding the judgement that is deserved.

I think my soul is a whore;

"Are you a Godly man?" "For you, I could be."

I also particularly love the conversations in Latin. I can't say too much on them without spoiling it so please skip over this if you don't want potential spoilers, but:

Horresco olfaciens tuum putridam odorem, qui sicut sanginem alterium putet (I shudder to smell your putrid odor, which stinks like the blood of another)

Vivo ut te concelebram et prosequar, quod mihi voluptatem dat (I live to haunt and hound you)

Amore et melle et felle es fecundissimus (You are most prolific in love and pleasant things and poison)

and of course, a Latin quote that I literally have tattooed on my body:

Flectere si nequeo Superos, Acheronta movebo (If I cannot move the Heavens, then I will raise Hell)

And if I can get a little nerdy over here (I'm gonna), the book mentions at one point the Homeric Hymn to Apollo! I know those hymns, they're something I did special research into last year! Specifically here he references Hymn 3, the Pythian Hymn to Apollon, lines 356-374:

ὃς τῇ γ᾽ ἀντιάσειε, φέρεσκέ μιν αἴσιμον ἦμαρ, πρίν γέ οἱ ἰὸν ἐφῆκε ἄναξ ἑκάεργος Ἀπόλλων καρτερόν: ἣ δ᾽ ὀδύνῃσιν ἐρεχθομένη χαλεπῇσι κεῖτο μέγ᾽ ἀσθμαίνουσα κυλινδομένη κατὰ χῶρον. θεσπεσίη δ᾽ ἐνοπὴ γένετ᾽ ἄσπετος: ἣ δὲ καθ᾽ ὕλην πυκνὰ μάλ᾽ ἔνθα καὶ ἔνθα ἑλίσσετο, λεῖπε δὲ θυμὸν φοινὸν ἀποπνείουσ᾽: ὃ δ᾽ ἐπηύξατο Φοῖβος Ἀπόλλων: ἐνταυθοῖ νῦν πύθευ ἐπὶ χθονὶ βωτιανείρῃ: οὐδὲ σύ γε ζώουσα κακὸν δήλημα βροτοῖσιν ἔσσεαι, οἳ γαίης πολυφόρβου καρπὸν ἔδοντες ἐνθάδ᾽ ἀγινήσουσι τεληέσσας ἑκατόμβας: οὐδέ τί τοι θάνατόν γε δυσηλεγέ᾽ οὔτε Τυφωεὺς ἀρκέσει οὔτε Χίμαιρα δυσώνυμος, ἀλλά σέ γ᾽ αὐτοῦ πύσει Γαῖα μέλαινα καὶ ἠλέκτωρ Ὑπερίων. ὣς φάτ᾽ ἐπευχόμενος: τὴν δὲ σκότος ὄσσε κάλυψε. τὴν δ᾽ αὐτοῦ κατέπυσ᾽ ἱερὸν μένος Ἠελίοιο, ἐξ οὗ νῦν Πυθὼ κικλήσκεται: οἳ δὲ ἄνακτα Πύθιον ἀγκαλέουσιν ἐπώνυμον, οὕνεκα κεῖθι αὐτοῦ πῦσε πέλωρ μένος ὀξέος Ἠελίοιο.

Tanslated by Hugh G. Evelyn-White as:

Whosoever met the dragoness, the day of doom would sweep him away, until the lord Apollo, who deals death from afar, shot a strong arrow at her. Then she, rent with bitter pangs, lay drawing great gasps for breath and rolling about that place. An awful noise swelled up unspeakable as she writhed continually this way and that amid the wood: and so she left her life, breathing it forth in blood. Then Phoebus Apollo boasted over her:

“Now rot here upon the soil that feeds man' You at least shall live no more to be a fell bane to men who eat the fruit of the all-nourishing earth, and who will bring hither perfect hecatombs. Against cruel death neither Typhoeus shall avail you nor ill-famed Chimera, but here shall the Earth and shining Hyperion make you rot.”

Thus said Phoebus, exulting over her: and darkness covered her eyes. And the holy strength of Helios made her rot away there; wherefore the place is now called Pytho, and men call the lord Apollo by another name, Pythian; because on that spot the power of piercing Helios made the monster rot away.

This review is getting kind of out of hand at this point, I just don't know if I can whittle down my thoughts into just one post about it. This book has changed me. This book is everything I never knew I needed, it healed a small part of my soul that I had thought was untouchable. I am fully considering my relationship with religion and how that can mesh with the very things that drove me from my faith because of this book. It is beautiful and I highly recommend people read it (while being mindful of the content warnings, of course)

[nuri148]

More Clarity [sorta] deleted scenes!

These aren't exactly deleted scenes. It's just that, after writing them, they were moved, so I had to edit them for continuity. Spoilers for all the chapters mentioned.

Connie's Visit: Chapter 8 to Chapter 9

I originally had Connie visiting the tea shop before the royal ball. Because that chapter ended up being super long, I moved the scene to the beginning of the next chapter (after the ball). The scene remained almost identical, the main difference is Lucy's piece of conversation. (small letters are non-deleted/changes parts)

“No, those are puffed sleeves. I'm talking butterfly sleeves, they just sort of... flare out.” Monday afternoons were always slow at the Tea House. That’s how Levi found himself as the much unamused recipient of Lucy’s detailed description of the dress she’d be wearing to the Royal Ball. 

“Name makes no sense, why butterfly? Butterflies don’t wear sleeves.” He was sitting on one of the barstools, as though he was a patron. The number four tea he was drinking was the one thing allowing him to put up with the inane chat. 

“Who cares, it’s just a name.” 

“A stupid name.” 

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I haven’t got any pink shoes, obviously, so I’m wearing the white ones from my brother’s wedding. They’re pretty flat, so I won’t be towering over you.” 

Levi snorted. “Like I give a fuck about that.” 

“The good thing is, being white, they’ll match with the Hizuru hairpin,” she concluded, very satisfied with herself. 

The door opened. 

“Captain!” 

There was only one person that still greeted him by his former title, despite his insistance not to. Levi turned around at once, as glad for the visit as for the chance to stop listening to fashion talk. 

“Connie! You finally deigned to drop by!” 

They patted each other on the back. 

“Hello, you! Lucy, right?” 

Girl talk: Chapter 12 to Chapter 11

Unlike the previous scene, this one got pulled forward, instead of pushed back. There were length issues too but, more imprtantly, it worked better. The original placing had Mikasa and historia talking after the main events of chapter 12, and Historia knowing about those made it much more difficult to give Mikasa the benefit of the doubt regarding her feelings for Levi - and his for hers.

“I can’t believe it’s been over a month since we last had lunch together,” Historia bemoaned, picking out the thyme twigs off her leek soup. Mikasa argued that the two weeks they’d spent in Hizuru they’d had at least half of their meals together, but the queen said that didn’t count. “There were always too many people around.”  

Mikasa couldn’t argue with that.  

After leaving the hospital, she’d spent a quiet two days of rest at home. She’d gone for lunch at Jean’s on the weekend, and she actually had a very pleasant time with Lena helping her organise the New Year’s party. The children had been pretty tame. Emma and Marco were very focused working on a “secret project”, which made Alex feel excluded, and so he’d push them to let him into it, which caused a series of arguments and cries that caused Jean to have to go yell at them twice; both times, as the fight became audible from the living room, little Helen had appeared waddling before the adults, shaking her tiny head and hand as if saying “I’ve nothing to do with that,” which made the mothers cackle.    

It had been a drag to return to work on . She was thankful for the many well wishes of her comrades, but after the respite of the last few days, going back to the protocols, and salutes, and discipline was like putting on a straightjacket. Hopefully a meal with her friend would help her lift her spirits and tackle the rest of the week more cheerfully.  

“Imagine,” Historia continued. “We haven’t even talked about the ball. It feels like it was ages ago.” Mikasa tensed for a second. Her memories of that night were... mixed. “Did you have fun?” 

“Yes,” she said, focusing on the first part of the evening. “The hall looked so beautiful, and the dinner was delicious. Those quails, the sauce... one of the best tasting dishes I ever had.” (...) They talked about the music and recounted the fun moments of the evening to each other through the first course. 

When Mikasa scraped the salt flakes from her roast lamb shoulder and Historia asked about it, she explained her ordeal of the previous week and that the doctor had told her to reduce her salt intake, at last for a while. Historia chided her: she should have told her, she would have sent her private doctor, she would have told the cook to make blander food... Mikasa thanked her concern, assured her she was alright and that everyone in the Royal Guard and the hospital had taken good care of her.  

“How did you do with Emma? Did you send her to Jean’s? You know you can always send her to me, right? We’ve plenty of extra rooms and Frieda’s nannies already know her...” 

“Yeah, that was the plan, but, in the end... She stayed with Levi.” 

“Whaat?” Historia’s jaw dropped in amusement and she stirred on her chair;  her glee was evident, as clearly the concept of Levi babysitting was a novel, terribly fun thing. Presently, though, her grin turned to a little purse and her eyes narrowed. “How did that go?” 

Mikasa merely raised her eyebrows, curving the pride and emotion she felt every time she thought about it. “Quite well, actually. And he left my flat spotless.” She took a bite and placed the cutlery diagonally on her plate, as she’d learnt to do to signal she’d finished. 

Historia graced her witty comment with a side smile, but remained pensive as the seconds dragged on.  

“What is it?” Mikasa asked.  

Historia made a gesture to the footman to leave them alone, then hesitated for a moment before asking, calm yet calculated: “It’s him, is’t he?”  

“Huh?” 

“Your mystery crush?” 

The flush on Mikasa’s cheeks answered for her. Historia sighed. 

“What are you waiting for?” It was a plea, rather than a question.  

“I...” Mikasa faltered. What was she waiting for? “It’s... ” What was it? Why hadn’t she said anything to him? What was stopping her? “I told you, he doesn’t see me that way,” (...)

“Keep lying to yourself.” Historia downed her wine.  

“What if I’m right, though? What if he doesn’t want a relationship?” (...) 

Mikasa hated to be running out of arguments. Or were they excuses? She couldn’t bring up Emma at this point. Historia had already voiced her thoughts on whether Minimin could accept the idea of having Levi as a stepfather. The word made her dizzy. Besides, she’d blown any chance to use her girl as excuse by telling he’d babysat her. Successfully. Maybe Historia was right. Maybe she should tell him. She had already regretted not telling him the previous week, when she thought she was dying. She’d wanted to tell him in the hospital, but they had an audience. That was another excuse though, wasn’t it? When she knew where he lived, what his number was, when she could perfectly arrange a meeting between just the two of them to talk things over.      

“Maybe I’m just a coward.” 

“No, you’re not...” Historia said meekly. “Sorry if I’ve been too harsh.” She rang the little bell to call the service. “Let’s have dessert and talk nice things, yes? Guess who’s coming to Jean’s New Years’ party?” she said, pointing both her index fingers to herself.    

[twistedtavern]

I would love to hear about your fairy tale au!!!

YES OK SO

I basically took some basic fairy tale villain archetypes and applied the dorm leaders, those archetypes being:

Stepmother (gender neutral): Vil

Giant: Riddle

Just a straight up talking lion: Leona

Witch: Azul

SATAN HIMSELF: Kalim

Dethroned king: Idia

Dragon: Malleus

Everything is under the readmore because good GOD

And I made them all the core cast. I hear you asking, "But Deli!! If all the villains are the heroes, who's the antagonist?"

No shit it's gonna be the fucker who's usually the protagonist in these fairy tales. By way of what he stole from everybody else, he's a prince now. Also he's Neige. This becomes important later, but for now, take note of the general behavior of your typical Grimms' edition fairy tale protagonist, what's the pattern here? They're all assholes and thieves 90% of the time and should probably have gotten murked. They steal shit, they kill things they shouldn't, they just wreck shop wherever they go and run off laughing like the gremlins they are with little consequence. Trust me, I have witnessed protagonists do some fucked up things and get away with it or be called right, I have a book of these things abt as thick as my arm. TLDR: Neige is a motherfucker. Well. Stepchildfucker. If you want to be specific. Almost. Let me go into detail about that.

~✨ The Actual Story ✨~

We set our scene long ago in a pleasant little village with a family of two. Vil and his nearly-the-same-age-because-marriage-back-then-was-fucked-and-we-AREN'T-getting-into-it stepchild Yuu, who he treats very well actually, are on a pleasant little walk to the market to go buy some essentials for the household, chatting and laughing and remembering what they needed, when suddenly a beautiful white horse bursts out from the treeline and its rider snatches Yuu right up off the street and whisks them away. Obviously in shock and anger because his stepchild was kidnapped right in front of him, Vil tries to give chase, running after Yuu's cries. He managed to get the barest glimpse of the kidnapper, recognizing the face of the newly crowned Prince Neige, just before he escapes into the wood.

From that point, Vil just basically goes on a quest that boils down to him going "hey you. if you've gotten your shit snatched by this fucker in particular, you may be entitled to coming with me to jump him." six times before rolling up on Neige to get his baby back. The following things everyone wants from Neige are as follows:

Riddle: Green goose that bakes golden cakes that Neige stole from him

Leona: Decapitate the bastard and take his head back to the woods so he can claims his brother's throne as forest king

Azul: Neige's firstborn (he ends up settling for some magical artifacts because he can't have a firstborn if he's dead lmao)

Kalim: Neige's soul

Vil: His stepchild (that Neige also stole from him)

Idia: His castle (outright swindled rather than stolen)

Malleus: Dragon egg (yoinked baby #2)

As you can see, there's a Lot that he's gonna get his shit kicked in for

[fourteentrout]

Hello and howdy! Secret Santa back again!

I hope you’re getting excited the closer we get to December! I’ve got something special in the works for you and the elves are going to ensure that your gift really shines! In the meantime, I have a few more little questions for you!

When you think of Tamsand, what kind of things do you think of? Pretend this is like one of those “taste, see, touch, hear” games. Is there a color you associate with them? A line of dialogue? Symbols of their relationship (canon or otherwise)? What song would you listen to while thinking about them?

How affectionate do you see them being together? Is Tamlin reserved or happy to hold hands, nudge shoulders? Does Rhysand brush fingers and put a hand on the waist, or does he save his affection for pet names? How do you like the imagine them being affectionate with each other?

Hello my friend!! What a pleasant Monday surprise!

I am indeed getting very excited and this ask has increased that by a SIGNIFICANT amount let me tell you. I'm sure whatever you come up with will be absolutely fantastic, just getting any sort of gift is truly such an honor. Tbh you could literally write like a 100 word drabble and i'd still be like OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS FOR ME.

Ah. So yeah. Clearly I am getting hyped😅😅

Let's see, when I think of tamsand, I definitely think of like...tension. Even when they were friends, to me there would always be this undercurrent of like "we can't be caught", and obviously after their Big Breakup, there's just bucketloads of tension resulting from. Everything. I always think about like, a build and release. There's always something so charged about their interactions, it really grabs the interest.

Ha I don't know about a color, but I certainly think of many scenes/lines!

Recently what's been plaguing me has been the exchange from the first book where Rhys shows up in the dining room the day after I think...the Summer Solstice festival.

"Rhysand smiled--heartbreaking in its beauty--and put a hand on his chest. 'Rhysand? Come now, Tamlin. I don't see you for forty-nine years and you start calling me Rhysand? Only my prisoners and my enemies call me that.'"

What gets me about this line (which by itself gives enough to make me feel Insane) is that Tamlin LISTENS. He exclusively uses "Rhys" instead of "Rhysand" for the REST OF THE SCENE. Later in the series he goes back to using Rhysand for obvious reasons, but in this instance it makes me think like. What was going through his mind? Was that a conscious choice or was he just falling back into habit? Did he have some underlying, undying hope that things between them could be changed for the better one day? Was it too hard for him to think of himself as Rhysand's enemy, even though Rhys had, for all intents and purposes, only acted like his enemy this whole time? I don't know! I don't know. It makes me lose it.

Symbols of the relationship. Instantly think of the knives and bandolier, and also what has come to be known as Tamsand Steak among friends (as represented by the 🥩 emoji).

OUGH a SONG. There's so many lol. I've been listening to a lot of The Doors lately. "Break on Through (To The Other Side)" is my favorite by them and I think because of that it's the one I connect to tamsand (with a slight Feylin flair during the bridge) the most. But like if you look at the lyrics I feel like it does make sense.

EDIT: I FORGOT ABOUT MITSKI. "First Love/Late Spring". Ohhhh. Oughhh.

I picture them being VERY affectionate when there's no one watching. Full on possessiveness. Not to be crude I imagine a lot of Tam Tam titty grabbing on Rhys' part. And id imagine him doing a lot of hair touching. Also other indications of possessiveness. Touching his jaw, his throat, shoulders, etc. For Tamlin I actually picture him being more of a waist and hip grabber. Being unexpectedly sexy about it. That's part of what I like about Tamlin--that his sensuality is sort of slowly revealed. But once it's there you're like whoa there buddy where did THAT come from. So yeah I like to think when they're alone and not on bad terms they are Very touchy. I also imagine this coming into play with Rhys whole "Who do you think taught your beloved Tamlin the finer aspects of swords and females?" thing. Like yeah bud I bet u did.

But yes overall I am Pro tamsand physical affection.

Lol I hope this was sufficient, I know I can get kind of off track at times! Thank you for dropping in! Also I just realized I'd been tagging all my ask answers with acotar secret santa 2025 which is. Obviously wrong. So I'm gonna try to change that from now on!

[esmerulia-chantelle]

Sweet Spaghetti

Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader

Summary: While having some spaghetti for dinner, you realized you were sharing a strand of it with Azul. What happens?

Notes: Established relationship. Azul calls you pet names (sweetheart, my dear).

A/N: Inspired from this spaghetti scene from The Lady and The Tramp.

A repost from my old blog @escha-evenstar. Edited.

You were sitting inside a fancy restaurant, dressed in fine clothing, as you conversed with the man opposite of you. He was also wearing a formal attire. The suit complemented his silvery hair and matched with his blue eyes.

You didn't realize you were starting to stare. Your hand which was holding a fork froze in place as your eyes continued to gaze at him.

He was looking incredibly handsome tonight. Absolutely perfect.

You were suddenly broken out of your daze as Azul called out to you. "Sweetheart?"

"Y-yes?" You stuttered, eyes blinking back to reality.

Azul chuckled at your response. "I was asking for your thoughts."

"Thoughts?" You feel some heat rise to your cheeks as you recalled your most recent ones, where you were just thinking how attractive he was in his new suit.

"What thoughts?" You asked nervously.

"About the food, specifically this pasta dish. You said you were looking forward to this the most," he said.

"Oh! Yes, yes I was," you laughed as you mentally sighed with relief. "I really like how it tastes. The grated cheese blends really well with the sweet tomato sauce and you don't get tired of the pasta because the meat and the mushroom mixed with the sauce brings out a harmonious flavor. It's really, really delicious!"

Your words elicited a smile from Azul. "I'm glad. Maybe I should take note of this and make some recipe changes at Mostro Lounge."

You giggled at his response as you brought your fork to your mouth and continued to eat the spaghetti. There were a few seconds of silence before Azul spoke again.

"Ah! There is something I'd like to ask you, sweetheart." He placed his elbows on top of the table as his chin settled on top of his clasped hands.

"What is it?" You asked after swallowing down your food. As you looked at him, you noticed how his eyes have a mischievous glint in them.

Please don't tell me he noticed.

"I am rather curious as to why you were staring so hard at me earlier." A smirk evident on his face.

He knows.

A blush adorned your cheeks as you averted your eyes away from him.

"Uhm, well.."

"Well?" He hummed teasingly, his signature smirk never leaving his face.

"I know I already said it earlier but," you turned to stare directly into his blue eyes while still blushing. "You look really handsome, Azul."

The way you said it so sincerely with that lovestruck look in your eyes and that shy but lovely smile of yours had Azul blushing. His fingers tried adjusting his glasses, an attempt to hide the crimson hue dusting his cheeks.

"Ah, that's-" You definitely caught him off guard with your straightforward answer. He coughed into his hand as he composed himself. "I am truly flattered. Thank you for the compliment, my dear." Azul flashed you a smile, a genuine one.

"And I must say again," he continued as he took hold of your hand. "You look beautiful, my Y/N. Stunning and gorgeous as always." His eyes never left yours as he gently brought your hand to his lips.

Oh, how your heart melted.

"Azul~" You cupped your cheek with your free hand as you looked away from him once more, feeling bashful as your blush intensified.

Azul felt a swell of pride within him to be able to draw out such a cute reaction from you. All because of him. He chuckled at your pretty and cute self as he squeezed your hand. This caused you to look back at him and you could see the warm, loving gaze in his eyes as he smiled at you softly. You returned his smile with your own as you squeezed his hand back.

Afterwards, the two of you resumed eating while engaging in pleasant conversations. It was a light hearted moment.

As you brought another fork of spaghetti into your mouth, you noticed how one strand was longer than the rest. You leaned forward against the table, following that one strand of pasta, only to come close to your lover's face. The other end was in his mouth.

The two of you were frozen, eyes staring at each other.

It was like you were in a Pocky game except instead of a Pocky stick, you had a single strand of pasta connecting the two of you.

You still didn't move but Azul did.

His eyes fluttered down to your lips before closing the distance and giving you a soft, tender kiss.

Your eyes flew shut as you savored the sweet moment. It made your heart race and your mind blank except for the feeling of his lips on your own.

The kiss lasted a few seconds before he pulled away from you.

"You were right," said Azul.

"Huh?" Your eyes blinked in confusion.

"I didn't get to say it earlier but the spaghetti is indeed quite.. delicious." He caressed your cheek gently before holding your chin between his fingers, his thumb grazing your lower lip. "Especially from your lips."

You were positive your face was as red as the sweet spaghetti sauce.

"Maybe I should have some more." His voice was low and suggestive, a teasing smile on his face.

You were definitely a blushing mess right now as your heart thumped loudly inside your chest. His smooth words and suave actions tugged greatly at your heartstrings.

All because of a single strand of sweet spaghetti.

..but that doesn't mean you don't like it.

Masterlist here!

If you enjoyed this: likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!

[chezzywezzy]

Yandere Miles Fairchild (2/4)

Word count ; 4.0k

*TW : sexual assault & abuse implications.

*Edited:3

I turned the oven knob, a fire immediately starting under the stove panel. I watched in a tired gaze, setting the pan on top. The French toast would take a while. Usually, Mrs. Grose insisted that I take care of the mundane chores of sweeping and mopping the most commonly used rooms, but she seemed rather on edge today. I could tell Miles attitude was getting on her nerves. As dedicated as she was to her job and as firm as her belief was of not criticizing her bosses; I assumed she wanted to get some distance from the children.

Sometimes, I still see her. My mother, I mean. Sometimes, when I stirred the batter, I envisioned her hands guiding mine, frail and wrinkled from a hard life. I could envision her manning the pan beside me, insisting that she didn’t want me to get overwhelmed.

I took this as a blessing. Instead of being peeved that I’d have to pay attention to what I was doing; I decided that I could pay Miles back for his kindness by serving a delicious breakfast. In a separate pan I started cooking up some scrambled eggs.

It was as though I became shorter. But, I couldn’t help but get lost in the fantasy. I abandoned the pan, too short to be able to see the contents. My mother, with color in her cheeks still, stood beside me. She was focusing on the cooking with a pleasant, hopeful smile gracing her beautiful face.

She looked down at me fondly. “Remember, Y/n. This is good for us. We’re free from daddy now and that’s a good thing, okay? But now that we’re here, you’ll have to start learning how to cook and clean. We’re not living here for free, you know. We’re working for the Fairchilds now.”

I pouted, crossing my arms sternly. “You’re wrong, mommy. I miss daddy and daddy misses us. I - I don’t get why you’ve taken me away from him!”

My mother frowned, turning her attention back to the pan. “…You’ll understand soon, my love. Daddy was a bad person. You should forget about him. We’ll be just fine without him.”

I stomped my foot stubbornly. “No! We’re slaves now because you made a stupid, stupid decision! At least with daddy, I don’t have to do stupid ch - chores! I want to be with daddy, not you!”

My mother’s face turned beat red. Her thin figure tensed and her jaw clenched. “Y/n, be a good girl, now. The Fairchilds have welcomed us into their home and you can’t be causing a scene —"

“No, no, no!” I shrieked, kicking the oven. “I want to go home, mommy! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

Angrily, my mother reached for me, but I turned tail and ran. My mother couldn’t abandon her post, so she watched me disappear desperately. Tears clouded my younger self’s vision as I dashed down the empty halls. I ran past a stressed out and unsympathetic, but also much younger, Mrs. Grose. She made a grab for me, but wasn’t fast enough. 

I somehow ended up outside. I sat down on the stone steps, sobbing loudly and pathetically. I wanted nothing more at the time than for my daddy to drive up in his shitty cigarette and beer-stained car and take me away from the lavish prison. After all, in my five-year-old mind, daddy had done no wrong. The situation we were previously in was normal.

Now that I as an adult, my memories were repressed completely. All I knew was one fact: the situation we were in was wrong and bad. But how was young, innocent me supposed to know that?

Foot steps thudded behind me. I raised my head and wiped my tears, still sniffing furiously. I assumed that it would be my mother, agreeing that we should go home. However, when I peered over my shoulder, the weird-looking boy that was apparently my age was standing there, regarding me with annoyance.

I glared furiously at five-year-old Miles. He still. Maintained the bushy hair that he had as an adult, a style he never grew out of. He was pudgier, too, having yet to start his growth spurts. He crossed his arms and glared right back.

“You cry too much!” he declared indignantly.

I had yet to develop my wit, so in turn, I started crying again. Except this time, even harder. I turned away, completely bawling my eyes out. I heard the boy gasp in surprise. I’m not sure what he would’ve expected as a response, but it certainly wasn’t that.

I buried my face in my knees, hearing him continuously telling me to stop crying so much. You’d think he’d have learned after the first time, but he didn’t. That is, until he fell quiet, and so did I. My nose was dripping with snot as he plopped down beside me.

I shyly raised my head. He looked like he felt bad, a sympathetic frown etched into his features. He couldn’t meet my scrutinizing gaze, instead fiddling with his fingers. “F - Fine! I don’t mean it like that. I mean that you shouldn’t cry so much because this is your new home! You should be grateful mommy and daddy are letting you stay here!”

“But I don’t want to be here,” I huffed, his arrogant attitude getting on my younger self’s nerves. With time, it was something that I would get used to.

Miles looked confused. “Why wouldn’t you? You’re just a peasant! Now, you’re in a big house with everything in the world!”

“But I miss my daddy!” I wailed, wishing for someone to understand my desires, even if it was some snobby brat.

Miles frown deepened. He tensed. “…Oh. Well, is he dead?”

“No. Mommy just left him to come here.”

“Then why don’t you go see him?”

“Mommy says he’s bad and evil and I can’t.”

“…Oh. That’s sad.”

Miles fell silent and raised his arm, boldly pulling me in for a side hug. I continued to sniffle, but the comfort was greatly appreciated. For my younger self, a hug and some listening ears was all I really needed to heal.

I zoned back into the kitchen. I gasped, realizing I had zoned out for too long and the eggs were burned. I scooped the French toast, too, plating it. It was too late now to replace the eggs because breakfast was starting in five minutes. This would have to do.

I trashed the eggs and, in a rush, arranged the table. Mrs. Grose was nowhere to be found, probably helping Flora get ready for the day. I hypothesized that if it wasn’t for her and her strict schedules, both of the children’s lives would be an uncoordinated mess. So, for that, I thanked her.

Just as Flora and Mrs. Grose entered, I sat down the last plate. I let out a huff of relief. After all, Mrs. Grose’s strictness was a double-edged sword. 

“Good morning, Y/n!”

“Good morning, dearest Flora,” I replied, sending a smile her way. “Shall we eat? Where’s Miles?”

Mrs. Grose sighed. “He’s still sleeping. You know the boy and his temper. It’s best to let I’m sleep.”

I gulped. “I’m sure I could drag him out of bed, though.”

“My dear, you very may will try,” Mrs. Grose stated sarcastically. “But I highly doubt you’ll return with nothing but your tail behind your legs. I’m not sure why you intend to disrupt his sleep.”

Flora allowed me to excuse myself. I could hear Mrs. Grose loosening up for the sake of entertaining the young girl as I left. Even the old woman wasn’t immune to her charms. I ventured upstairs and passed my room. Next to mine was his, of course. I raised my hand and almost knocked, but decided to enter instead.

Miles was hardly present. He was so bundled up in his blankets that only tufts of his hair emerged from the burrito. Some pillows were strewn on the floor - which I was sure I’d have to pick up later - and since his return, his room was just generally a mess. 

I sighed quietly, hovering over him. “Miles,” I chimed,” it’s time to wake up.”

He didn’t stir. If anything, his snores became louder. I reached to where I hypothesized his shoulders would be and shook vigorously. “Miles! Seriously, breakfast is ready.”

The boy groaned, rolling to the other side of the bed. His leg sticked out, as he’d already wrapped himself in the rest of the blankets. I clicked my tongue and reached over, grabbing his bare foot. I yanked gently on it, repeating what I’d said before. He tried kicking free, but that only allowed his leg's to emerge, and I could grab both of them.

Miles let out a frustrated scream, which was muffled by his pillow. I couldn’t help but laugh at his childish behavior, and soon, he was laughing too, his movements ceasing. His head finally peaked out from the pillows and he gazed at me tiredly. 

“Why-y-y? Mrs. Grose makes the same thing every day. Why today?”

I giggled, letting go of his leg's. I stood up straightened and flattened my skirt out. “Because I made breakfast and it’s your favorite. French toast. You better come quick or Flora will eat it all.”

Miles rolled back to his previous position. “Can we compromise?” His voice was muffled from the blanket, and I returned to my previous spot stoically.

“What compromise, Miles?”

His arm shoved away some of the blankets, and out came an arm a bare arm. I was momentarily distracted by how toned, even with his thinness, it was, and how pronounced his collarbone was. A smirk dawned on his face, his grogginess having abandoned him.

“I’ll get out of bed and eat breakfast if you give me a good morning kiss.” Awkwardly, he tried propping himself  on his elbow. Perhaps it would’ve been attractive, if not for the heaping blankets covering the rest of his body.

Still, my heart raced and my cheeks flushed. “Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

I walked and leaned over, trying to pay my racing heart no mind. Miles paused expectantly, with a shit-eating grin. I pressed my lips to his cheek, and as soon as I did that, I pulled away. I was embarrassed enough as it was, so I didn’t want to give my - technically - boss the wrong idea.

Miles hummed in satisfaction, officially sitting up and throwing the covers off him. My face flushed even further as I realized he had only plaid pajama pants on and no shirt. It’s not as though I wasn’t used to seeing him this way, but perhaps the context made me even more flustered. He seemed amused by my reaction, or lack thereof.

“Like what you see?”

“In your dreams, Miles. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

And with that, I turned tail and left him to his own business.

~~~

Miles lowered his hand to me, and I took it eagerly. The sun was shining and the air was warm, but not too warm to be considered insufferable. A few weeks had passed since his return, and it was like he brought spring with him. That meant that on this fine weekend, I had more free time. Mrs. Grose wasn’t that horrible. And although I planned to spend the day to catch up on my studies, Miles burst into my room mid-afternoon and proposed we go horse riding.

So, here I was, sitting in front of him on his favorite horse. The horse was stiff with others, but with us two, we were regarded as friends. Even though Miles was rather stern with the poor beast, it acknowledged us as the rightful co-owners nonetheless. 

Miles wrapped his arm around my waist and plopped his head on my shoulder. I didn’t have to look to know he was grinning ear to ear. I cleared my way through and grabbed the rein. I sent the horse onward, and we emerged from the stable onto the grassy and somewhat unkempt lawn.

We hadn’t hired another permanent grounds keeper since Quint.

 We rode across, the wind kissing our faces. Soon, we turned to the gravel road. The trees lined it and gave us shade from the beating sun. The horse was quick and new the path well, thus not needing much direction. No words were exchanged between us, and none needed to be.

I slowed the horse down as we turned to the side, where our resident fountain slash koi pond resided. The horse whinnied as we pulled up and the horse came to a halt knowingly. Miles didn’t remove his hands from my waist, instead clutching each side tightly as he aided in hoisting my leg over. I used the step to hop down, my legs feeling wobbly from the short ride.

I offered Miles my hand and he eagerly took it, even though he probably didn’t need it. Miles had more free time than I ever have, so he was much more skilled at horse riding. Miles didn’t let go of my hand when he was off, though, instead intertwining our fingers. I didn’t object, and for some reason, my heart was set aflame.

“I know I was only away for, like, a month, but I really missed this little pond,” Miles mused as he pulled me to sit at the edge.

“So does Flora,” I remarked. “You know how she is. When you aren’t here, she rarely visits, even though she loves seeing the koi fish.” Silence fell between us as I stared into the water. The fish were slow, seemingly in a habit in circling around the entire fountain aimlessly. “…Now that I think about it, why didn’t Flora accompany us?”

Miles shrugged, not removing his gaze from the pond. “I, uh, just wanted a little getaway with you. Is there something wrong with that?”

“Oh! Uh, no. Not at all.” For some reason, his words caused a blush to rise to my face, which I quickly admonished. I had no idea why I’d been feeling differently toward Miles ever since his return. He was always… flirty and affectionate. And yet, it never had such effects on me.

“Good,” was all he said in return. 

He dipped his finger into the water, startling some of the fish. However, he made circles in the water mindlessly, and I watched him do so.

The scenery around us was completely quiet, minus the calm breeze and the distant… clapping? I picked my head up in confusion. Miles, noticing my alertness, listened, too. We both rose to our feet and examined our surroundings. He thought first to circle the fountain, and that quickly solved the mystery of what th hell the sound was.

I let out a small gasp as I noticed the bleeding fish on the ground. Its guts were almost entirely spilled out on the stones, and yet, it was still flopping around. Miles stared blankly at it, and I grabbed his arm.

“Isn’t that Flora’s favorite fish? Oh, dear.”

“She says every fish is her favorite,” Miles replied. “I’m sure she won’t miss this one.”

He tore his arm away and went over to the fish. He grimly raised his heel and brought it down on the fish. I let out a squeal of fright as more blood splattered across the ground. He repeated the process several times. And I could do nothing but watch in horror.

He… did it with such ease. He didn’t even bat an eye. 

And it wasn’t like what he did was wrong, it was just off-putting how he went about it.

He looked bored as he turned back to me, his faux brow leather boots stained with the fish’s blood. He notices my unease and tilted his head, quirking a brow. “What? It’s better to put it out of its suffering, right?”

“…Right. It’s just… I’m definitely going to be the one who’ll have to hand wash your shoes later.”

“Oh! I guess blood is pretty gross, so I can take care of it,” he insisted, a smile breaking out onto his face.

I shook my head stubbornly. “It’s my job, Miles. Don’t… don’t worry about it, okay? Can we just head back now? I have school work and I’d rather not remain at an active murder scene.”

Miles snickered and nodded in agreement. On the ride back, I let him drive the horse. I could smell the smugness off of him. He probably liked having me cling to him, since he was just that kind of flirty.

~~~

I had just finished putting Flora to bed. Today, she was extra difficult to wind down, so it took another half hour to convince her to sleep. But what was important was that I was here now, standing in my bathroom and getting ready for bed. Recently, I had been plagued by dreams of Peter Quint and advances from Miles. It made life even more exhausting than it had to me.

I brushed my hair absent-mindlessly, not wanting to stare at my own reflection. Over the years, I’d grown to dislike it. Each time, there was something I didn’t like about the person I saw. And although I knew it was wrong to push problems aside, it worked for the moment.

I set the brush down and prepared my toothbrush. I ran water over it and scrubbed the inside of my mouth. I was feeling especially dirty and didn’t want the invisible hands to dirty me further. I lowered my head and spit into the sink and rinsed my mouth. I also washed my face.

I raised my head, accidentally staring myself down in the mirror. But that was all it took to wisp me away into a fantasy. Instead of my older, more ragged face, I was met with a younger version of me. Not too much younger, but young enough to be noticeable. Despite that, my eyes held no innocence and light, and darkness clouded my eyes.

I clenched the sink as tears sprouted from my eyes from even looking at myself. I was disgusting. Dirty. All of my dreams and hopes had been crushed by him and him alone. He called it so trivial and casual, only a ‘bit of fun.’ And yet, it weighed on my shoulders indefinitely. 

I heard something real behind me. My bedroom door, most likely. I didn’t move, though, almost as though my body knew what was to come.

Slowly, the bathroom door opened behind me. And although I was clothed, I’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed. It was from the anticipation of what was to come and my inability to stop it.

And then there he was, leering at me from the mirror. Peter Quint, with that damned grin that used to be so friendly and kind, was leering at me excitedly. As he pushed the door open further with his grimy hands, I realized he’d already been rid of his shirt and his very hairy and portly upper half was exposed.

“You don’t think I’d let you get away there, did you, Y/n?” he chortled, standing menacingly in the doorway. “But I suppose this game of cat and mouse only makes you more attractive.”

I clenched my fists and lowered my head, unable to stare at my reflection with him looming behind me. Tears continued to flow, dropping into the marble sink. And though it would become but a memory, I could feel his body heat as he pressed up against me and his callous hands pawed greedily at my waist and chest. It felt like as he held me close, my body was imploding in on itself.

Or, at least, I wanted it to.

“Why so quiet, little mouse?” he huskily whispered in my ear, his breath fanning over my flesh. “We both know where this’ll end up.”

“Please, Peter,” I begged,” Leave.”

He grabbed my jaw and painfully twisted my head to face him. He was still grinning ear to ear. “Aw, don’t worry, mouse. There’s no shame in this. Nobody will find out.”

In a panic, I began pounding at his bare chest. He just shoved me back into the counter. I was completely trapped and he held my wrists together, leaving me only to tremble in his grasp. What scared me the most was how his expression never changed. He was always smiling. He didn’t feel an ounce of guilt.

“Come on, mouse,” he cooed. “What we have here is love and you know it. You don’t need to deny it. You love me. Nobody is going to find out about this, do you hear me? And right now, I’m really craving a round two.”

I tried turning away, but he placed a sloppy, drooling kiss against my lips. I squinted my eyes shut, tasting mix of blood and salt on my tongue. When he pulled away and he realized I had gone quiet with submission, he let go of my wrists and face.

And so, I screamed, even though his hand covered my mouth before a sound could escape. I was left screaming silently, too numb to protest.

A hand touched my shoulder and I jolted. I blinked, but standing behind me was only Miles. He looked so very worried. I would be, too, because perhaps I had screamed. But, most noticeably, my eyes were red and bloodshot and a waterfall was still streaming down my face. I lowered my head in shame.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Miles fretted, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me from the sink. I allowed him to turn me toward him, but I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment. He pulled at my hands, and I was forced to meet his beautiful blue eyes.

He continued to shush me gently as his thumbs picked up my tears and discarded them. He cupped my cheeks, and despite the panic I was formerly in, his presence and care calmed me. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, but for a different reason now.

“I - I’m sorry,” I choked. “I thought I was over it all, but it’s like I - I’m going insane —"

“No, Y/n, you’re not,” he comforted, his hands ghosting across my body before pulling me into a warm, secure hug. “You’re safe now. This is your home. I’m your home.”

“I know, and I’m sorry —"

“Y/n, it’s okay!” he insisted, raising his voice just enough to silence my fears. “I’m here for you. Always. You know this. You’ll be okay. I’ll protect you, no matter what.”

My heart melted and all my anxieties washed away. I clutched his back as he began to distance himself just enough so that he could pull me over to the bed. He grabbed my shoulders and ushered me to sit down. He stood still and watched as I tucked myself in. 

He turned, but I grabbed his wrist. He looked at me expectantly. “Please, Miles, stay with me. I just want to sleep well.”

He chuckled lightly. “I wasn’t leaving, Y/n. I was turning off the lights.”

I glanced and released him, pulling my knees to my chest. I watched his shadowy figure even as the room was flooded with darkness. The man went to the other side and crawled in. I wanted to turn and cuddle into him out of disparity. I longed for his warmth. But, he beat me to it, wrapping his arms around me tightly and burying his head in the back of my neck.

Tranquility. That was all I felt. My body felt like it was dancing in the clouds as I drifted off the sleep. I almost didn’t catch the muffled statement Miles muttered against my neck.

“…I love you.”

[lite-teesko]

 not that anyone asked but here is my review of sitaramam : (contains spoilers)

in 4 words, this movie is “no mass, all class”

the cinematography was so beautiful and crisp. i didnt feel disconnected from the movie but rather as a spectator in that world. the symbolism (butterflies and the ram-sita pairing) was extremely consistent and just amazing. the actors were so perfect, the side characters had multiple layers to their personality and had specific roles that were excellently done (eg. balaji, vishnu sir, afreen) there was a good balance between humor, intensity, love and all the other emotions one can feel when watching this classic. the songs and bgm were extremely pleasant and elevated the scenes very well. (beware u will be obsessed with the songs aft watching the movie) the dialogues were so well written, i have a number of them just swirling in my head. 

onto dq, this man is such an amazing actor. he really hit it out of the park with this movie. the perfect contrast and overlaps in him as solider ram and sita’s ram was such a delight to watch. tbh i cant imagine anyone in this role. and ofc mrunal was so elegant and carried the princess noorjahan with perfection. as sita, she seemed like a girl next door that everyone loves because of her kind heart and golden soul. 

edit : just realised smtg, when u see the album covers in spotify in the order that the songs appear in the movie, u can see ram and sita coming closer and idk if this was intentional or not, but i find it very cool

in conclusion, im in love this movie and nijamjane oka katharnak love story edi

tagging some peeps i hope are interested : @budugu @flyinlove @eenadu-varthalu @mizutaama